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One of the greatest weaknesses of humanity is youth's reluctance to understand anyone older, in the face of the olders' failing, self-defensive memory about the pangs of youth. Having said that, this Miramax attempt at trendoid GenY romantic comedy is one of the most boring, pointless, vapid things to come along since The Lava Lamp Channel.
Written and directed by Kris Isacsson (whose most notable previous screen credit is "assistant to Ms. Streisand" in The Mirror Has Two Faces), DTY stars Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Julia Stiles (10 Things I Hate About You) as NYU students who share narrative chores while recounting the history of their on again, off again romance -- He Said To the Camera, She Said To the Camera. Their circle of friends, with such focus group-generated names as Monk, Imogen, Lana, Cyrus (played by Cruel Intentions' Selma Blair), and Jim Morrison (who thinks he is), compress 20 years of life into a bachelor's degree (Monk alone goes from film student/porn star to lecture-circuit indie hero actor/director to talk-show multiple bestselling author in less time than it takes to pay for a good used Hyundai), while they themselves discuss ad nauseum all the sex and drugs they're not shown having. Other pop concessions, besides the obligatory Goo Goo Dolls track, are a fantasy infusion of Comedy Central's "The Man Show," and Morrison's portrayal by the least-talented castmember of "That 70s Show."
Young lust can certainly be a compelling enough subject; just ask the Bard or Brooke Shields. But here's a little hint: be wary of teen comedies, especially those that feature the drinking of shampoo as a metaphor for lost love, released in the middle of winter, when everybody's gone back to school and is way too busy to waste time on a bad movie. The most enjoyable thing was seeing Henry Winkler, who plays the male narrator's dad, as a TV chef who wants to do a home-invasive "Cops"-style show called "Cooks." That, and when it's suggested the young couple needs a theme song, she picks Al Green's "Let's Stay Together," which reminded me of my first girlfriend from high school. Otherwise, Down To You is so lightweight that, for the same reason breathing helium makes your vocal chords vibrate faster, this entire review took only 1.37 seconds to write. D
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