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From the opening credits, when instead of the usual "Universal" logo spreading across planet Earth you get stony letters forming the word "Univershell" and some little kid behind you asks his mom why it says "Universe Hell," the question that comes to mind is, "Why?" Two answers: 1) The Flinstones made nearly $360 million worldwide back in 1994, and 2) The Bedrock Patient would be just too silly.
From the same director as the original (Brian Levant, also to blame for Jingle All the Way), this prequel shows how blue-collar mobile-cave dweller Fred (The Full Monty's Mark Addy) hooks up with rich-girl Wilma ("Third Rock's" Kristen Johnston), while Barney (Stephen Baldwin) finds happiness in the equally dysfunctional-laughing Betty ("Alley McBeal's" Jane Krakowski).
The first big intentional joke is a flatulent brontosaurus.
Maybe something like Citizen Stone would have been better after all.
About the only positive things worth mentioning are a fun soundtrack featuring several neat songs with "rock" in the title, such as "Rock This Town" and "Seven Nights to Rock," and Krakowski's skimpy Stone Age costumes (she makes a good roller-skating car-hop too, having once done "Starlight Express" on Broadway). There are also neat sets populated by Jim Henson's Creature Shop minions, lending a certain McDonaldsland charm to things, but I wouldn't want to spend 90 minutes with Mayor McCheese either. Top with way too many cartoon sounds and flaccid puns (from a really weird team of scriptwriters -- actually two teams of two; one is, no lie, writing the next movie based on Hanna Barbera characters, Josie and the Pussycats, and the other did Anaconda), and you get a real chore for adults to sit through. Maybe for kids too, since I didn't hear many laughing, even at the dinosaur fart -- until the kid behind me said, "Pull my raptor." D+
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