I've been the object of undeserved derision and scorn,
Because I won't consume any messy sweet corn.
Corn on the cob is not for this guy,
Regardless of how many ears a dollar will buy

No corn in my beard,
Nor butter on my cheeks,
No picking away with those little toothpeeks

Call me nasty names,
Compare me to my dad,
Nothing will convince me
To chew an ear, egad!

So stop the false pressure.
I'll eat what I'll eat.
But never shall I touch,
That corn you call sweet.