| ITEM/SERVICE |
QUANTITY |
UNIT PRICE |
SUBTOTAL |
TAX/GRATUITY |
TOTAL COST |
| ER care |
1 |
$550.00 |
$550.00 |
$38.50 |
$588.50 |
| ER employees who had to come in at 3 AM |
3 men, 2 women, 1 unidentified |
$40 |
$240.00 |
$10.00 (grouch tax) |
$250.00 |
Little Debbie snack cakes |
12 |
$1.00 |
$12.00 |
$.84 |
$12.84 |
| Guy who went to get the snack cakes |
1 |
$5.00 |
$5.00 |
$.35 |
$5.35 |
| stitches |
20 |
$25.00 |
$500.00 |
$35.00 |
$535.00 |
| seamstress |
1 |
$50.00 |
$50.00 |
$3.50 |
$53.50 |
| thread |
3 spools |
$20.00 |
$60.00 |
$4.20 |
$64.20 |
| needles |
2 (1 broke on his thick skin) |
$50.00 |
$100.00 |
$7.00 |
$107.00 |
nurse who passed out at sight of blood |
1 |
$5.00 |
$5.00 |
$.35 |
$5.35 |
| Band-Aid for nurse's head |
1 |
$2.00 |
$2.00 |
$.14 |
$2.14 |
| Guy who unwrapped Band-Aid |
1 (but it took a little while) |
$20.00 |
$20.00 |
$1.40 |
$21.40 |
| latex gloves |
24 pair (including those for the rooster combs) |
$4 |
$96.00 |
$6.72 |
$102.72 |
| IV |
1 |
$40.00 |
$40.00 |
$2.80 |
$42.80 |
water |
5 cups |
$2.00 |
$10.00 |
$.70 |
$10.70 |
| Dixie cups |
5 floral patterned |
$1.00 |
$5.00 |
$.35 |
$5.35 |
| sponge bath |
2 |
$60.00 |
$120.00 |
$8.40 |
$128.40 |
| sponges |
5 (2 yellow & 3 green) |
$5.00 |
$25.00 |
$1.75 |
$26.75 |
| sponge babes |
5 |
$30.00 |
$150.00 |
$100.00 ($20 in each's panties) |
$250.00 |
| lingerie for sponge babes |
5 sheer nighties w/ matching panties |
$50.00 |
$250.00 |
$17.50 |
$267.50 |
| bandages |
80 (various sizes) |
$10.00 |
$800.00 |
$56.00 |
$856.00 |
| tape |
300 rolls |
FREE |
FREE |
NONE |
$0.00 |
| fishnetting |
10 pair |
$10.00 |
$100.00 |
$7.00 |
$107.00 |
| fishing line |
1 spool (for what, we can't guess) |
$3.00 |
$3.00 |
$.21 |
$3.21 |
| fish hooks |
3 (Again, go figure...) |
$1.00 |
$3.00 |
$.21 |
$3.21 |
| Rehabilitation |
20 visits |
$30.00 |
$600.00 |
$42.00 |
$642.00 |
Whirlpool baths |
15 |
$40.00 |
$600.00 |
$42.00 |
$642.00 |
| Whirlpool babes |
3 (1 blonde, 1 brunette, 1 redhead) |
$300.00 |
$900.00 |
$60.00 ($20 each) |
$960.00 |
| bikinis |
3 (1 blue, 1 purple, 1 black) |
$50.00 |
$150.00 |
$10.50 |
$160.50 |
| martinis |
20 (including those for the babes) |
$6.00 |
$120.00 |
$8.40 |
$128.40 |
| monkeys |
12 (hehe) |
$.18 |
$2.16 |
$.15 |
$2.31 |
| Japanese cucumber |
1 (to amuse the monkeys) |
$1.49 |
$1.49 |
$.12 |
$1.61 |
| old lady with stomach problem |
1 |
$35.00 |
$35.00 |
$2.43 |
$37.43 |
| fly |
1 (I don't know why...) |
$.25 |
$.25 |
$.02 |
$.27 |
| spider |
1 (to catch the fly) |
$.50 |
$.50 |
$.04 |
$.54 |
| bird |
1 (to catch the spider) |
$20.00 |
$20.00 |
$1.40 |
$21.40 |
| cat |
1 (to catch the bird) |
FREE (outside of Wal-Mart) |
$45.00 (vet bill) |
$5.00 |
$50.00 |
| other miscellaneous animals |
4 (dog, goat, cow, horse) |
various costs |
$2000.00 |
$140.00 |
$2140.00 |
| Mylanta for the old lady |
2 bottles (didn't help...she died, of course) |
$10.00 |
$20.00 |
$1.40 |
$21.40 |
| Funeral expense |
1 (for old lady) |
$5000.00 |
$5000.00 |
$350.00 |
$5350.00 |
|
|
|
|
GRAND TOTAL |
$13,606.78 |