This is a picture sent to me by Ian the Farmer Foster. It is obviously an apple in a urinal. Great photography skills Ian.
This is a picture sent to me by Ian the Farmer Foster. It is obviously an apple in a urinal. Great photography skills Ian.
(underscores are placed to block our identity, because what we do is illegal)
So here I was in a foreign province, and I was in a destructive mood. I spent the night some sort of weird cult's recreation center. There were boxing gloves, strange toys, and A TYPEWRITER. Now I did some funny things with this typewriter. There were little kid books. I took the books, and put them in the typewriter and wrote satanic messages in the books like: "Satan Loves you" "No food or beer make _____ go something something" "rape small children" etc. The next day I was in a university, and of course there were public toilets. Because I had no sleep the night before, I was tired. That made me angry. The main problem was that someone had already clogged the toilets!! Stall one: Newspaper in the toilet. Stall two: A shirt in the toilet. It had lost all of it's dye in the water, so the water was black. It was fucked up. I wish I had a picture of it. : ) . Stall three: piece of shit, nothing big. Stall four: I flushed it, and it clogged.
Now Master Plugga was in stall one, and some other kid who was with us was in stall three. I flushed stall four multiple times, and water started flowing all over the place. The kid in stall three screamed when he heard water rushing out on to the floor, but the lock jammed on the door, and his socks got soaked. I made him jump on the toilet to avoid my wrath. Then Master Plugga came up with this retarted idea. "Hey Docta Clogga, you hold the flusher down with your feet as you hang from the stall wall, and I'll yell to you if anyone is coming".
"Cool" I said, "Then we will put the rest of this newspaper over the drain so the facility floods." I said.
Okay so here I am flushing the toilets, and the water is about 10 cm deep on the floor, and suddenly I hear footsteps. "Master Plugga!" I yelled, but when I looked behind me this big mother fucker from the football was standing there. "oh shit!" I thought.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked me.
"Something wrong with this toilet." I replied.
"Your fucking right there is something wrong with this toilet." he yelled.
"uhhh" I studdered, "I was trying to fix it."
"Shut the fuck up, should kick your fucking ass." He said
"right, ok." I sarcastically said (he should have kicked my ass for that tone of voice).
"Leave my toilets alone asshole!" he yelled as I walked away.
I was asked later that day if I knew anything about flooding in the bathroom and I denied any knowledge. That guy should have probably kicked my ass though.
- By the Great Docta Clogga
Remember send your funny washroom stories to
koffing69@yahoo.comMore Stories added every day!!
SINK
This is one of my favorite stories. I was washing my hands after (you guessed!) taking a shit. I put a lot of soap on and the water was running very fast and furious. You know that when you wash the dishes you plug the drain and let the water run quickly and add lots of soap. I did all this and soon the sink was full of bubbles. I looked around the bathroom...nobody but me. I then shoved paper towel down all the drains in the four sinks. I put the H
SEVEN
Once upon a time Tha Master Plugga and I (Docta Clogga) walked into a washroom. A few other people were with us too. I was going to take a shit but I noticed that all the toilets had shit in them already. I started shitting in one toilet and did not flush. Another person shit it in after me without flushing and soon we plugged it with SHIT not toilet paper like usual. That is what seven people's bowel movements can do to a toilet.
-By Docta Clogga
Docta Clogga and I were at the pool and once again we
plugged the toilet,and we flushed it 4 times there was water everywhere. After 3min an old man went to the same stall that we plugged and had ONE MONSTER SHIT like 2 feet long. When we came back when the old man was done, he tried to flush but the shit was so big and the toilet was still plugged. So Docta Clogga flushed it again and little chuks of shit was flowing every were
and the big shit was going around and around. We left the pool after that the next morning the mess was still there and the big shit was still in the toilet and it was still plugged, we flush it again and the shit was flowing again. after we flushed it a lot I took a shit in the stall with the big shit and flushed it again. Then we plugged the other toilet and water was every were including all the shit from the other toilet, then Docta Clogga held the flusher down for 1min and there was an inch of shit water around the toilet the we ran out of there.
-By The Master Plugga
A long time ago I was in the bathroom in a University. I went into the Handicapped stall and I started shitting (using the hover technique of course). It was a big one and the toilet started to make some strange sounds (I think they were from a previous clogging). Upon hearing the bizarre noises I left the stall. I did not here a full flushing sound so I went to check on the status of my feces. Uh Oh! to my horror the stall was occupied again! I continued to "mock" wash my hands as I waited for my stall to be open. Sure enough I heard the sigh of relif followed by a flush. What was unexpected was the sound of water running out of the toilet and all over the ground. My friend who was shitting at the time just had a case of diareha and clogged the toilet. We then took the TP, shoved her down the drain and flushed. The sound of running water followed and we flooded the bathroom with shit. I returned at least every 20 minutes to flush the toilets again. The toilet started to become infamous and I showed tons of people my handiwork. The asshole janitors unclogged it :( Someone told my superiors of my mischef and made a rumor that I stuffed a FurbyTM toy down the toilet. Whoever thought of that is so full of shit the toilet is jealous. Once again I emerged victorious as the Janitors worst friend. -By Docta Clogga.
Yesterday, I went to a public bathroom, at MacDonald’s, and poured 5.2 kg’s of Robin Hood Best for bread flower down the toilet. The toilet started spiting up shit like the flower, TP and crap and piss. It over flowed all over the floor so I put some paper towel in and flushed again and it leaked all over the bathroom floor and out into the hallway. I ran out and I was laughing my fuckin’ ass off. I went back to MacDonald’s about an hour later and it was still leaking but now it was out into the dinning area. On my way out I heard someone say that there was brown water all over the floor I started to cry, I was laughing so hard. I left and I went to your web page to give you this funny ass Plugging Of The Month.
The Royal Flush
-By A Friend of Docta Clogga
Yesterday night I thought I was running out of ideas, until I recieved a long list of tips and tricks from the owner of When Good Toilets Go Bad.(You can read this list in the miscellaneous section of Tips and tricks. All of a sudden I had so many new things to try. I flushed a small light bulb down the toilet, and it made a cool popping sound. Next was a sock, then an orange, then a chunk of concrete, then a few rolls of toilet paper, and finally my own shit. I am not finished though. Tomorrow The Master Plugga and I are going to flush a 40-pack of generic christmas light bulbs, that shall be THE LIGHT BULBS: PART 2.
I found myself walking through the washrooms in a strange place, there was a long thick brown trail of liquid. I followed it, and it lead to a stall that was overloaded with shit. I placed little pieces of paper on the brown shit. Next I took a box of crackers, and fed the hungry toilet, but they didn't go down to well. I used nachos, cupcakes, TP (of course), and my own shit. FLUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Then the sound of water pouring on the ground, then the sound of me running, being careful not to slip on the shit trail.
Well this is how it goes, one day me ____ and ___ went to ____ ____, our old school, to get ryans year book. They refused to give it to us because ryan never payed gay school fees, so we went to the top floor bathroom he-he. First ____ (soap master ____) ripped the soap thing off the wall and squirted soap all over the bathroom, then ____ and ______ each went into a stall to piss all over the floor while i clogged the sink, then while they pissed all over the already cleaned bathroom i filled up the clogged sink with piss and i pissed all over the walls, Docta Clogga we wish you were there.
-By RMK
They finally busted me. I was too cocky, I vandalized the same toilet for an entire week. (read the toilet paper fest from earlier this week. But on December 9th I got in "deep shit." The Master Plugga and I were destroying the bathroom at a common place as usual. He brought in a giant 12-roll ball of toilet paper that plug a few firehidrants (when I get a fucking digital camera, or steal one, or scan regular film I might have a picture of it.) We plugged a few toilets with it, but it was to huge to even try to flush down that it just sucked up all of the water in the toilet. When it was done sucking up water, The Master Plugga neatly placed the 100-pound object in a small waste basket (I wonder if back injury is on the Janitor's workman's compensation.) Next we flushed an old pair of underwear down. It went down, but should become and adequet filtration device for the toilet. Urine may pass, shit will not, and the toilet will eventually back up and hopefully explode or something. Now the stupid part that pissed me off: The Master Plugga decided that the bathroom stall needed to be decorated in a masterbation theme. He took a "Salon Size" bottle of shampoo and squirted it all over the toilet, stall wall, floor, celing etc. The stall now looked like someone put a firecracker between their nuts, and blew the contents of their testicles all over the place. After the dirty deed was done I was upstairs waiting to be picked up, and a man yelled for me to go down to the locker room. I was confronted in the locker room by "the man" and the main janitor. "Time to clean some toilets _______, you wreck them, then you fix them." I was like "oh fuck..." I soon found myself scrubbing the dirty-ass urinals, and mopping up the fucking toilet. It sucked shit. I shall never stop destroying toilets, because it is so goddamn fun. This is for theJanitor(wav file 76k).
You know when somebody pisses you off, you want to wreck something of theirs. Well I did just that. I went to the old _____ club, and I never have to show them my card because they know me, so I don't bring it with me... But today I walk through to the gate and I sat for ten seconds waiting for the buzzer door to be opened. Suddenly I hear "Where are you going?" I gave the worker a rude look as if she was fucked up or something. I then said "you know,...I have to go ________ now." Then the lady said "with who?" I was then very annoyed and I gave her another rude look and said "with ____?" Then I was just like "yessss" As I was riding the elevator down, I thought to myself, "That fuckin toilet is going to get it on behalf of it's ignorant owners!" I went into the change room where I have wrecked many a toilet before and flushed a giant TP ball down with my shit. Like a maniac I kept flushing and flushing, until the bathroom area was flooded. My revenge was met!!
-By Docta Clogga
A long time ago, I found myself sitting waiting outside for my beer to arrive at a ___ ________ store. The man I was with at the time started to have mammoth farts, and he said to me "I think I should go to the bathroom." I was farting too, and my bladder felt bolated so I decided to go take a leak too. I walked in the bathroom and went to the stall. I noticed someone had made a poor attempt at trying to plug the toilet with a large amount of TP. As I was urinating I was pulling at the TP dispenser, and by the time I was empty the dispenser was empty. I rolled er up and flushed it once to start, and again to clog it. Sstisfied with my work I left the mess for the next patron.
-By Docta Clogga
I was at our local pool the other day and i took a bottle and filled it with all kinds of shit(It was a big bottle).
I put ketchep, syrup, corned beef for chunks heehe, corn flour to
thicken it, mayo, musterd , Piss(heehee), and brown sugar to help it look like shit!(the was more then that in it but i don't remember what else) then i mixed up really good and clogged the toilet useing lots of TP once it was cloged i dumped lots of that stuff in to the toilet to make it look like someones shit had clogged it then i poured all over the seat and the floor around the toilet so it looked like when it over-flowed that shit went every where. After that for some extra shitty effect I set of two fart bombs int the garbage right beside the can so the whole locker room would smell like shit! and about 30
seconds after i was done the kids came in to go swimming and they were complaining about how bad the locker room smelt and then when they thought they saw shit all over the flooy they went to get the janitor, I nearly died laughing! that when i got out of there to let him clean it up.
-By King Clog
I went with some of my "homies" to go see Scream 3. I went, bought the ticket, and walked up to the ticket guy. He said (in a gay voice) "Please let me see some ID sir, this movie is R-rated." I whip out some ID, and he says "this doesnt have your proof of birthdate on it, sorry." By now you must know what happens when somebody tries to piss me off, or deny their services. I wreck their toilets. So I walked into the bathroom Grabbed as much paper towel as i could, and shoved her down the toilet. Next I ripped an entire roll of TP out and shoved her down too. I stood on the flusher, and kicked the TP dispenser, until the toilet started to overflow. I was satisfied with my handi-work, and went to get my ticket refunded. The cashier decided to be a dick about it, and demanded I put information about myself on the ticket. I refused until he finally said that I would not be refunded, unless I put my phone number on the ticket. I said "Are you going to call me tonight big boy, we can talk about love?" He then said it was company policy to do this. My company policy is to wreck toilets, and I returned to the bathroom. A janitor had made a poor attempt at fixing Docta Clogga's mess. And he even put an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on the door. I took the sign and stuck it to the back of my ass, and plugged the toilet again. I never did get to see that movie though.
I went to a mall and I tried to steal something, so the security guard tried to kick me out of the mall. But I got away and headed straight to the bathroom. I just so happened to have a variety of objects in my backpack. I went into a stall and started to throw empty deodarant sticks, pens, combs, Q-tips, paper, etc, Into the toilet. Then I took all of the toilet paper off the roll and threw it into the toilet. I than took a lot of paper towel and took a shit on it. I then began to wipe all of my shit on the toilet, covering it almost complety. Then I held the flusher down for two minutes, and it started to overflow. So I ran the hell out of the mall.
-By a friend
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