HOW TO VANDALIZE A BATHROOM:
WHAT TO USE:
Ah toilet paper AKA: "TP". The nicest soft white thing in the world. It is the best thing for minor to moderate damage, in a toilet because of it's avalability and versaltility. I use it most of the time just because it's there. Most of the time when I vandalize a washroom, I don't intend to but I see the toilet paper sitting there all alone hanging on it's roll, waiting to be deployed, and I just can't help myself. I don't just sporatically plug toilets, I use special skills learned from many moons of toilet destroying.
Large TP: This calls for a huge ball of TP, flush the toilet, and if you know anything about displacement, the water wont be able to flush all the TP down, and it backs up and floods. Simple as that.
Speed Flush: Take the end of the roll of toilet paper, put it in the bottom of the toilet, and flush. Hopefully the toilet will be strong enough, and it will suck the TP down all by itself, and empty the roll in 10-30 seconds. Just keep your hand on the flusher.
Blunt objects can really harm the pipes, or just plug real nice. Blunt objects can be anything that can be flushed down a toilet, but get stuck in the pipes. Send me your favorite blunt objects to plug toilets when you click on the address below.
Clothing works nice all the time. If you read the "TP FEST" in the stories section you can see where I used underwear to plug a toilet (It is still plugged almost a week later people, take note of that!).
Towels: You can use towels to plug toilets very well. They seem to line the pipes slowing down the flow of water and causing the toilets to overflow often. Face towels, are small discrete and undigestable for the toilet. Use them!!
Underwear and others Dunk and flush. What else can I say. The garments get very heavy and must be irritating for the janitor.
Miscellaneous things can be like vandalizing sinks and showers. Overflowing showers can be accomplished by plugging the drains, leave the showers on and return in five. Fill the sink up with soap, plug the drain, and let the water run. Everyone has probably done that one before.
I don't know if this is for real or not... but I have some tidbits from when I used to be this destructive.
1: Office buildings, particularly those equipped with a type of toilet called an "Aluminum Thunderflush" (porcelain versions with the same flush mechanism are far more common), are often powerful enough to devour entire rolls of toilet tissue directly off the roll. All I did was lower the end of the TP into the water and lean on the flush handle. Because I did this so often, they installed new TP dispensers with eccentric off-center rollers and pins that prevent the roll from making a complete revolution. Snipping the pin off with a pair of dikes effectively rendered their anti-vandalism device useless - and once again I could flush up to 3 brand new rolls simultaneously and all within about fifteen seconds without causing an overflow.
This of course, assumes a direct-feed toilet (no tank refill to wait for).
2: Favourite objects to flush which cause overflows, strange toilet sounds, or other unnatural toilet behavior:
Small to medium-sized incandescent light bulbs are wonderful to fuck up a toilet. Large C-9 (outdoor) Christmas lights would often go ten or twenty feet into the pipes and then explode inside, creating an audible, muffled "pop!" sound. Larger bulbs, such as those 40-watt oven and refrigerator bulbs, sometimes fail to detonate in the pipes and get caught farther down the plumbing, creating a real nightmare for the plumber, especially if they went far enough down to evade his toilet snake before becoming trapped in the pipes. Coiled up washrags, cut-down roller towels, T-shirts, underwear, disposable diapers, cloth diapers, hairbrushes, Q-tips by the hundred, toothbrushes, flashlights, medicine bottles, Renuzit air freshener (the old, pear-shaped ones, not the plug-in kind), automatic in-tank bowl cleaners, urinal mints, empty toilet paper tubes, wallets, half-broken beer bottles, copious amounts of cat litter, wood shavings (from the cages of pet rats or hamsters), shampoo bottles, size D batteries, the dog's squeaky toys, eyeglasses, Dixie cups, and tennis balls are among other items which have found their way inside the pipes via the toilet bowl during the time I reigned as the local toilet destructor. Certain items (such as lightweight plastic bottles or tennis balls) need to be filled with water or sand first, or else they'll just float round
and round and never go down.
Wood or pulp shavings from small animal cages can really fuck up a toilet. Dump the entire contents of the cages (except the animals), let it soak for a while, flush a couple of times (the bowl may just rim the first time; it WILL cause a bountiful flood on the second flush), and run like hell!
Regards,
Ex-Toilet Destructor
If you know something cool to do Send it to me!!!
Take the plugging survey
Fill out the info below:
check out the results
Send your favorite vandalization tips tokoffing69@yahoo.com
GO
HOME
check out the results