Through our many conversations and my attempts to break down and explain Bx’s behavior has pointed my mind in an interesting direction. You requested to know the story behind the Bloody Basin images. And it came upon me a desire to once-and-for-all explain all the truths behind every aspect of these images. For those people who want the actual truth; to have it consistently and clearly explained. The background is not so important as the explanation of the prop choices and the ways they are used. You and I know Bx and pieces of his history and background. These images simply restate what we already know. But for others, for clarification and for posterity, I have written down the best explanation of these photographs I can.

I believe that people will come to understand what the images mean and represent. In their minds eye replacing Bx with themselves of those they know like Bx. It is unquestionable. Even if they do not find the images of an acceptable "quality". If they hear or read the synopsis, the comparisons to their own lives and experiences will be drawn.

This place is called Bloody Basin, in Arizona. Just about 45-60 minutes North of the Phoenix city limits. It is an odd jumble of rocks and boulders on the crest of a couple hills overlooking the valley. It sometimes appears more like a graveyard for giants than the random clutter at the base of the mountains.

The last trip to Bloody Basin I made before leaving Arizona, I went with Bx to model for me. During the shoot my full attention was focused on him. As you can tell there were certain issues he was wanting captured on film. It wasn’t until printing the various frames that I noticed the rocks were watching. In a few images the rock seemed to be actively participating. Making faces like some children might do. Grinning, grimacing, and even sticking out a tongue. This is the only place I have ever found such effects in the landscape. And as odd as it sounds... I wouldn't have had it any other way.

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Prop representations: These were brought by Bx.

Wista: Self-esteem. His love of photography and his career.

Goggles: His attempt to see things differently, applying a filter to himself

9mm Gun: Means of escape or drastic change. Also a means to hold himself hostage

Pillow Case: Specter of hopelessness, death, and suicide. Removing sight, sound, voice

Nude: How he feels in the world- exposed

Boulders/Rocks: Life, the world, desire, need, sex

Photographer: Voyeuristic desire. He likes to be watched and recorded

This photo session was not a nude study. This was an attempt to put to film the issues that Bx was having with himself. The imagery has a very strong impact on him and to this day the images ring true to events and feelings in his life. These are just some of the struggles of his Co-dependency. The Lover and the Killer holding hands and taunting each other with truth and guilt.

Specific note on the nudity:

None of the images show Bx with an erection. I believe this was intentional. At the beginning, while I was unloading my equipment and preparing for the shoot- Bx was taking off his clothes and mentally preparing himself. When he was completely naked he got an erection. A natural reaction to the situation and not really given a second thought by me. However Bx specifically wanted to take a few minutes to get used to things and relax enough for his hard-on to go away. His erection was not to be included in the subject matter of the shots. He apparently didn’t want that "side" of him portrayed that day. Although there are obvious sexual tones, references, and blatant actions, the view of Bx’s penis in these instances is blocked. The frontal nude images show Bx flaccid and demonstrate a sexual venerability. Maybe just the mood he was in or the part of him he was trying to express didn’t involve a display of his male prowess. Sometimes hinting at a lack of sexual self-confidence in a sexually dominated photo session. I don’t believe Bx would have gotten undressed for anyone but me. This is one of the most intimate things I have ever had shared with me.

Bx1:

Bx is confident. He stands tall on top of the boulders. He has his penis inserted into the Wista. Asserting his masculinity and sexual dominance over his love of the craft. Symbolically fucking his career as a photographer. Making it "his". Subordinate to his whim and need. The goggles filtering out what he doesn’t want to see. Using the gun Bx is holding himself hostage. Trying to maintain this entire persona and dominant position. A performance for all who sees him, an almost blatant display of his dominance, skill and desire. He wants these attributes to be noticed in him by others.

Bx2:

Bx is standing tall and confident. Use of gun indicates a hostage situation. With his back turned demonstrating preoccupation with what is in front of him. He is concentrating on "the work". He is trying to remain with the work by using the gun. His penis is in the Wista- indicating the sexual comparison to the "the work". Although there is not much going on- in an active since- in the image, it is important that it be taken. Bx likes and need to be watched and is hinted at throughout all the images. Voyeuristic in the looking and the showing

Bx3:

Bx is standing purposefully. Naked and facing forward unshielded. Image when he is holding gun to temple: Body tightly clenched, he is waiting for the shot. The change is coming and he is clenched nervously in expectation of Changes arrival. Image where the gun is in his mouth: he is inviting Change into him, swallowing it, taking it in. The Change subject is interchangeable with "death" as Bx was, never free of suicidal thoughts and desires and fears. Take notice of the rock details to the right side of the image. At times you can make out the shape of a face, eye, mouth, nose, even tongue. Which adds to the voyeuristic feel of the images. Watching a man in conflict.

Bx4:

Bx is showing us his nightmare. This is the Specter that follows him. No sight, no voice, no sound and the threatening bullet. The specter is threatening but it is Bx’s own hand holding the gun. Bx is gripping the hood to possibly hide, as the horror is expressed on a face we can only outline. The theme of unprotected nudity is repeated here to demonstrate further venerability.

Bx5:

I see this image to represent Bx’s struggle for the "light at the end of the tunnel". Bx is crawling and inching his way towards his foreseeable future in a rather beautiful but very demeaning manner. I think this is how he sees himself going through life.

Bx6:

Bx is standing in strong postion. Shoulders squared, feet wide and planted. Bx is using both hands to hold the Wista in position. The goggles, again, filtering the world he sees while he seeks sexual gratification from his craft. The meshing of his photographic desires and intentions with his sexual identity. No use of the gun indicates a more placated, calm mood, as if simply enjoying the activities at hand.

Bx7:

As in Bx6 Bx atop the boulders in the throws of sexual gratification. The Wista in both hands, indicating guidence and great attention to details. Oblivious to what is going on around him. The photographer taking on the voyeuristic character of the moment. Bx's self-esteem and confidence appear higher in these images, I think, because he has eliminated the specter of death and helplessness and vied for a simpler theme. Possibly representing a simpler moment in his life when he is able to overcome the thoughts of death and the burden of low self-esteem.

Bx8:

Bx appears almost to be hugging the boulder. Inviting it into him. Very calm. The gun is pointed away or simply being held as one would a hat. Its presence still being made known but the gun's purpose has been temporarily nullified. Again note to the right of the image is the face in the rock. Also making its presence known. I think this image indicateds a state of "rest" for Bx.

Conclusion:

A few days following the shoot at Bloody Basin, Bx presented me with a gift. We had actually used the Wista for some shots that day. I shot film and Polaroid. Bx kept the film for his own private use and he presented me with the most beautiful gallery style frame with one of the best Polaroid’s from that day mounted inside. It is a treasure and point of pride for me. I keep it on my wall at home.

The rocks at Bloody Basin will always hold a certain fascination for me, even if I never get to visit again. May the big guys rest in peace.

"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants." - Isaac Newton