Ask Dr Boy
Dr Boy answers Your questions...
Dear Dr boy my problem is...
"having flared trousers... an urge to jump on neil when I meet them(and I am going to...he he he"
Well well... We all love flared trousers... Is that really suede's fault? Hmm.. Please don't jump on Neil, he is so fragile. I can hear those tiny bones break *snap snap*... Oh no don't jump on him!
"WHY BRETT DOESNT CALL ME ANY MORE????
AND WHO THE HELL IS SAME?????
WHY CANT SHE LEAVE HIM ALONE????!!!!!"
Oh my... The question is, who are you and why won't you leave Brett alone?! Just keep him in your head, that's where he belongs.
"cant do anything but
- think of brett all the time...im absolutely mad about him
- flying all around the world to see them
- i can only keep on loving them very day more and more
and more and more...... AM I CRAZY??????? "//Francy
Francy, darling. As you can see on this page you are not the only one. And you are not crazy. Just...uhm... Well.. Let's see it from THIS point of view... What's wrong with being a bit crazy? uhm..Oh look! It's raining outside... My oh my.. Now where did I put my pencil... *humming*
"I can`t look at Brett `cause i feel like I`m about to die when i cant touch him..."//Candy
Well... if you would touch him... you would die from happiness, no? So there is no difference.
"my problem is looks like they won't be coming to the united states to tour. what's the deal? please help me find out. i'm aching, to see my heroine..... "//Doved Up
As you might have noticed we have no clue about these things. Visit www.suede.net for info about that stuff.
"i slept with neil and now i have painful bumps..errr... *blush* . what shall i do? what's wrong with me?"//Brett Anderson
Yes, what is wrong with you??? You slept with Neil, stop complaining!! Jeez... *mumbling*
"I keep seeing Brett in my University...at first i thought it was my pervy immagination, then the incerdible amount of studying finally kicking in my head...but suddenly, one day, "the Brett" came near me and spoke...i tried your 12 step program but it was useless...please help!"//Sole
Now what's pervy with seeing Brett??? Unless he was naked walking through the library...Oh did he speak to you? It can't be Brett then can it? Why would Brett talk to you??? You need to make sure that your imagination STAYS imagination and not this thing inbetween. Our 12 step program is NOT useless...but you seem to need something else that we can't give you...new glasses perhaps...
"Wher do you but Suede chips? "//Jeremy Allen
You need to improve your typing boy...but assuming it's "Where do you BUY Suede chips?" you mean the answer is clear: asda town.
"I'm driving my parents and friends up the wall! I won't stop talking about Suede! I link EVERYTHING in conversations to them! Please help! "//Mary Ellen James
Well Mary Ellen...this is serious...maybe if you pin up suede posters on your wall your parents and friends won't have to keep hanging there...just a thought. As for the conversations...try linking something else like when you say the word suede just add the word "shoes" and it ends up sounding so corny you will just shut up and keep quiet for the remainder of the discussion...or you could give yourself electric shock treatment every time you mention suede...that will put you off suede for sure.
"I don`t know how to do. I cant fall in love with someone who dont look like Brett. I always think..." he could dye his hair, he could change clothes, he could be a singer maybe, and move to England and get big, or maybe he just could play guitar in England, and maybe... maybe he could loose some weight, he is small alright but...." Help... "
Yes...sure...or YOU could move to England and find the real Brett, be insulted by him and then go back and find someone who has NO similarities with Brett at all.
"Hi.. *should i sit on the couch..or..o.k...* I can't resist a guy in make-up or dresses and i took the twelve step and it says i don't know what gender i am..waaa! *o.k. scratch the whining part..forget i did that* so..am i normal?? Do i need help? Do you wear a dress ever? :P just teasing sorry...o.k. thanks! "//delirium a.k.a.pixie
Everyone in here has to LIE down on the couch and take off their clothes...and from what I can see...now that I see your body in full light...I think you're a girl...not sure though. You need help yes...and as you're so cooperative I will give you some pills. There...*takes off his dress*
"i have a serious problem with my flatmate, he always wants to put his fingers in my c***, what can i do love?, im really scared of him every time he comes home from working i have to hide under the bed, i alredy bought a gun, but i dont know how to use it, damm.....well i hope you can help me from him, cheers!" //Vanessa Anderson
His fingers in your crap? That's horrible...just give him a kleenex...preferably a scented one.
"flying around europe after suede"
Hmm.. I can understand that flying around too much does get quite expensive after a while.. I suggest that you spend money on something else.... Records..diamonds..( i.e. stuff that cost too much. If you are very broke indeed, you can't fly at all. Unless you are a bird. Wich I doubt. Yes. *mumbling on*
"Dear doc, I have a horrible problem! I keep dreaming of Brett when I should be in an exam! Itīs tearing me apart, I canīt concentrate...Please help me dear doc! ;P "
//Mona Lisa (situated on my painting here in the Louvre)
Hm...Dear Mona Lisa... Dreaming of Brett can be a problem, but you can always turn something evil into something good. If you imagine Brett doing a mime of the questions you get on the exam, maybe it will get better. (He can be very helpful you know)
"hmm, my problem is that richard is soooooooooooo cute. does he have a girlfriend? coz i've heard that he does ...*buhuuuhuuu*" //x-rated flower
Hm.. Does it really matter? I believe he does, and if he hasn't he'll get one so there is really no point being sad about it. Being his girlfriend would probably include making him tea when he's tired, washing his dirty socks, falling over his guitar every morning when you get out of bed etc... You should be happy that we get to see the best sides of him. Just keep dreaming of him in a fluffy pink boa or whatever it is you do.
"I CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT HEARING AT LEAST ONE SUEDE TRACK
BEFORE BEDTIME! HONEST! IF I DON'T, I HAVE TO SING ONE TO MYSELF,
LAST NIGHT IT WAS "THIS WORLD NEEDS A FATHER" TONIGHT I'M CONTEMPLATING EITHER, "ANOTHER NO ONE" OR "POPSTAR" I WANT NO HELP AT ALL! IM HAPPY BEING MAD!! LEAVE ME ALONE CRUEL WORLD!!!
AAAHHAHHAHHAHAAAAA!!!!!" //"JOHN"
Hmm... I think you have a serious caps disorder, but otherwise you are perfectly normal. If you don't need help, you shouldn't waste my precious time! *Grr*
"i try to follow them everywhere, i buy everything they release my parents are desperate!!!"
//Francesca
Hm.. Dear Francesca darling, what are your parents desperate about? That you buy everything they release or that you follow them everywhere? Hm.. Either way, try to cut your addiction down by starting to stand far back at concerts. Soon you will be able to stand outside and listen, that way you don't need a ticket (Great eh?).
"what can make me don't love suede any more?" //being crazy for suede
Hm.. This is a very individual thing... Some need to become fans of other groups, wich is only jumping from one addiction to another, whilst others only need to get a life. You'll just have to find the cure suitable for you, maybe the Anonymous Suedeoholics is a good place to start...
"I just recently saw Suede for the first time and fell totally and utterly in love with the gorgeous Neil and I don't know what to do about my obsession"
Hm.. Neil.. Yes that's a tricky one... Get loads of pics of him and name your firstborn Neil or Neila. That's about how good it gets.
"think that suede are fab! I think that Brett should rule the UK!
I love suede soo much it hurts! I want to make love to Brett every day and every night; when he isn't on tour with the rest of the band! I think Brett should dump Sam for me! :)" //Gina
Hm.. Hey wait a minute. Why when he isn't on tour? Is the tourbus not comfy ebough?? Eh , eh?? Hm... Brett and Sam has been an item for some time, I think there is no use trying to charm him (except when he's on tour that is).
//Dr Boy
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