usually wouldn’t
go out to Wal-Mart and buy a CD the day it’s released. No, I usually
wait until I can either find it used, or grab it through BMG – even if
it’s someone I’m a big fan of, like the Dave Matthews Band.
But I was having such a lousy day that I decided to splurge on myself.
I’m not sure what exactly went wrong this morning. It was a combination
of things, I guess; that dreaded snowball effect.
At home, I’ve been kind of peeved lately because I’ve gotten the impression
that my wife is ignoring me. Actually, when I think about it, she
spends a lot of time with me, especially considering the circumstances
(i.e., a baby who has caught onto crawling really quick, and likes to go
after things like furnace registers, CD racks and electrical cords).
On the other hand, I also know that it’s normal for the father to feel
left out during the first year or so, but I really resented it last night.
I guess I was probably just having a pity party for myself. Anyway,
I was still in that “nobody loves me” mode when I got to work.
I’ve been involved with an interesting project here in the last month
or so – the problem is, I’ve kind of reached a dead-end point. I’m
trying to debug something, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why
it doesn’t work the way it is. In other words, I’m trying to get
something not to work, and no matter what I try, it works like a charm.
And in the other duties I have, I’m just as stuck. I’ve reached the
point where I can’t do anything else until someone gets back to me – and,
of course, no one ever gets back to me. Even though I’ve gotten a
much better job, and a little more respect even, I’m still basically the
low man on the totem pole. I’m the plankton on the food chain of
life.
