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Chapter Two -- Chapter three -- chapter four - HOMEMEETING RICHARD
One of the strangest things about being in the Movie business is that people who have no experience what so ever will ask you if you can get them a job. When you ask them what they can do, they always answer "anything". When I met Jerry and I learned that he was planning on making a movie so I asked him for a job. I too would have done anything to get into the movie business. As it was I had one important qualification I was persistent. I got into the Movie business in the late seventies by phoning a producer, 'Jerry' twice a week for 2 and a half years. The fact that I started by asking for a job as Locations Manager and got a job as Assistant Producer is beside the point.
As a Movie company we were not very good, in less then a year we had made one terrible movie, had just sold the rights of a bad one and were working on a maybe, interesting one.
It is worth noting that the movie we made 'Double Negative' or 'Deadly Companion' in video starring Michael Sarrizan and Susan Clark. It was the first movie to show all the old Second City regulars (John Candy, Katharine O'Hara, Joe Flaherty etc. in minor roles It was also the film debut of Maury Chakin.
Howard Duff also starred in the movie; we became pretty good friends and had lunch together almost every day. He had been in Hollywood since the thirties and told great stories. The first day I met him he introduced himself with his tag line. "I'm Howard Duff and if you don't think I'm tough, just remember I was married to Ida Lupino for twenty years"? I really liked Howar but he was fragile and liked a lot of vodka. It was amazing to see him transform for the camera and he was always on time and hit his marks and knew his lines. He sent me a Xmas card for years.
Although we had two actual offices we did 99% of our business sitting at the bar of the 22 at the Windsor Arms Hotel. At this time we were negotiating for the script rights of Playboy of the Western World and were phoning London first thing everyday about 9 o clock our time when Jerry was still fairly sober. He only sounded blurry which could be blamed on a bad line which wasn't too bad and anyway it was the end of the day over there and it was at least reasonable that one had had a few at lunch. We were also hammering out another deal in LA., and this was a different story when we phoned at two our time and it was only ten in the morning there. Jerry would already be half-cut, loud and slurring badly and I finally convinced Jerry that he either had to stay sober or let me handle most of these calls.
It was Friday and Pay-day and I came in late again because I just had to get fired. In my eagerness to get the job I had agreed to work for only $200.00 a week ($600.00 when we were shooting). This wasn't quite as bad as it sounds. I did get a car, and a gas card as well as all my lunch and bar bills at the Windsor Arms paid for. It just didn't cover my rent or TV payments and stuff like that and so I had to scramble to get by. Now Jerry liked to think of himself as a Harry Cohn and loved to fire people. Most people don't take kindly to being fired but I had neatly turned it to my advantage by putting a Severance Pay clause in my contract. (Jerry also loved contracts.) If he fired me he had to pay me 3 weeks Severance Pay.
So I managed to get fired every other week in order to survive and had come to depend on it. Just like he had come to depend on me and therefor when he sobered up for a minute on Monday he always hired me back. This week he was like a rock and he ignored all of my ploys and insults, I tried everything but he would just smile auspiciously and say "I am not going to fire you this week Gary." Then he would smile smugly at his own self control and order another drink to celebrate. After a couple of these he realized he had an important call to make later to LA. and decided to remain half-sober by going to a movie.
He hated to go to movies alone so he usually paid me $20.00 extra to accompany him. I was trying to soften him up for firing me, by holding out for $50.00. I mean really, being forced to watch 'Escape from Alkatraz 'for the fifth time was almost worth 50 bucks. Jerry loved Clint Eastwood movies and we usually toured the suburb and rerun theaters watching them over and over again.
We were sitting at the bar in the 22 at this impasse when THE VOICE from behind me said,
Like to join me for Lunch Luv?
It was Richard. I had read somewhere that he called his friends 'Luv' and since I had only met him yesterday I was more than a little taken by his generous familiarity and of course said I'd love to join him for Lunch.
I told Jerry I would see him later and headed out the door.
Jerry bellowed after me so I asked Richard where we were lunching and that I would meet him there in 10 minutes. At this point I didn't care too much what Jerry had to say I just hoped he would fire me quickly so that I could relax and get back to work. Jerry pleaded with me to take him to lunch. I wouldn't do it and he was furious. He threaten and fumed but he was already drunk and there was no way I was going to ruin this lunch. I waited briefly for him to fire me but he caught himself and I headed out the door to Meyers in Yorkville.
It had all started the day before, I had come in late as well, trying to get fired. I got to the 22 around noon and since Jerry was on the phone I joined Ivor at the 'Producer's Table'. Ivor was sitting with Ron Berkeley and introduced him as Richard's Make-up man on 'Circle of Two' which they had just started shooting. Jerry had owned 'Circle' but we had sold it to Bill and Hank and I was still working on some loose ends. I had no sooner ordered a beer when suddenly in walked the famous Richard and sat in the booth beside me, just like that. He had finished shooting early and was waiting for Susan to return so he decided to join Ron. Ron introduced him to me and Ivor. I was almost speechless, I mean when he spoke the earth seemed to tremble. It was something like sitting down having a beer with the Angel of the Lord. He was impressive. THE VOICE was something else. And I was not easily star struck, some of my closest friends were big name stars and I hob knobbed daily with the Rich and Famous, but his presence was truly awesome, all at once he was an Actor, Thespian, Charming, Rogue, Philanderer, Famous Drunkard and Rich, with the million dollars a movie to as well.
The 'Producer's Table' was the booth nearest the bar and a bunch of us shared this table, where we mostly drank and put together our latest pictures. Deals were started at noon finished at five and destroyed by nine, to be reconvened the next day. We had a sort of unwritten rule that when anybody had serious business to do You would give everybody else the nod and they would move on to another table until you were finished. This worked well as it meant we got our business done but also shared our contacts socially which helped everybody.
Now we're sitting there listening to the wondrous voice telling us great stories, when Bill and Hank the producers of 'Circle' came in. Apparently they had hadn't met Richard Face to Face yet and they were trying to piggyback another movie right after 'Circle' and had sent Richard the script to read. They pushed in to the now crowded booth, giving Ivor and I the nod to buzz off and leave them to business. There was not a chance we were leaving that table that day. They grunted and nodded at us but to no avail and soon gave up and started to talk business with us there anyway and glaring at us at every opportunity.
All this time Richard had the same large glass of white wine in front of him, he was technically on the wagon, this he told me meant that he drank no hard stuff but only beer and wine. I couldn't help but notice his almost 'nervous' routine with the glass, As he talked he would pick it up and look at it carefully and then rotate it slowly every couple of minutes He seemed to wait carefully until everyone at the table was ready to order another round. Then he would lift the glass slowly and with a little salute he would open his throat and down the whole 8 ounces in a single yet somehow dignified gulp.
Hank asked "Did you read the Patman script?"
Yes I loved it, It is very funny.
Bill "Will you do it?"
Oh no. . . you don't want me for this. I tell you Dick is who you want, he would be perfect.
(We all struggled to figure out who he meant. Richard had the habit of talking about anybody by only using their familiar first name. Lawrence of course became Larry and Dick was Richard Harris. }
Hank coaxed "But we would like you to do it."
No no its not my type of role. Why not try Sean or Michael.. that's it. . . Michael.. he would be perfect.
I will cast this picture for you yet.
Would you like me to call him for you?
We all struggled a bit to make sure we knew who he was talking about. Richard downed his wine and Daytime Don brought another round. Bill and Hank were still glaring at us and very carefully making sure that Ivor and I paid for our own drinks.
Bill was determined "We really don't want anyone else, we would really like you to do it."
Richard paused to think
so Bill added "How much would you want to do it?"
Richard twiddled his glass and winked at me.
Why I'd do it for one hundred thousand dollars. . .
Everyone gasped, Richard always asked for a million dollars even if it was only in Canadian money. Then he added the kicker.
. . .If I can select my own leading lady.
Hank asked cautiously "Who would you want."
That English actress of course . .oh what's her name. . . you know who I mean...
His eyes twinkled.
Everyone tried to anticipate his choice. Vanessa? Julie?
You know uh . . . Black hair . . .
Bill or Hank (searching) "Diana . . . Rigg?"
Richard's eyes danced with delight as he fingered his glass carefully.
No, no. You know that English girl,
the one with the purple eyes and
the big big tits...
Richard downed his wine. Waiting for it . . .
I was the first to get it I snorted it out.
"ELIZABETH!
He was having them on. The chances of getting Elizabeth Taylor for this movie were slim and none.
Ivor, Ron and I laughed and laughed. Bill and Hank smiled faintly asked for Michael's number and left. It was from this little episode that Richard invited me to lunch. I can only guess he appreciated a good audience.
© Gary LeDrew 1997
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