DO YOU STILL SUCK?

The Worst Band in America, Part Duh!

Sunrise, sunset...quickly go the years. Hard to believe it was way back in 1992 when we instituted the now legendary Worst Band in America contest. The scum search culminated in the crowning of Miami's Scraping Teeth as the most intensely untalented and excruciatingly unlistenable outfit in the 50 states. But three years is a long time in rock music. It's not inconceivable that somewhere, in a basement, in a bar, in a garage, or in a fevered imagination, lurks a group even worse, even lamer, even more self-deluded. Maybe you're pert of such a group, and if so, we say: Get a job, give it up, your wasting your time and bringing shame on the family name. Or then again, you could enter SPIN's second Worst Band in America contest.

Bring us your losers, your tuneless, your laughingstocks. If your of sufficiently low caliber, the big cash prize of $500 could be yours. And that's not all: Your worst song will be featured on SPINonline and on the SPIN College Radio Network. You'll b noticed, you'll get gigs, you'll get a record contract, you'll become famous. Okay, none of that happened to the guys in Scraping Teeth (who now subsist in a state of dejected penury), but you've got to have hope. Once again, may the worst band win!

March 1995 issue.

YOU SUCK!

Once again, SPIN is ashamed and embarrassed to present the winner of its Worst Band in America Contest.

DEEP BLUE SOMETHING is the worst band in America. Sadly, though, the parameters of SPIN's Worst Band in America contest, reinitiated from 1992 with no regard whatsoever for popular demand, extends only as far as groups who deem themselves worthless. Those if you with lives untroubled by event may recall the victors of the first bout, a feast of feedback and distortion called Scraping Teeth who managed to parlay the attendant publicity from their triumph into years of obscurity.

While the members of Scraping Teeth are probably subsisting on ammonia and Hamburger Helper, their presence cast a pall over this year's contest, with way too many entrants submitting protracted howls of pain. The only respite from the endless recorded rehearsals came from guys trying too hard to be funny. What follows is, in descending order, the groups that have attained their own special level of suckage; The Top Ten Worst Bands in America. (ed. this is where I truncate the article).

March 1996 issue.

Click here to go back.