Get your own Free Home Page. How you possibly resist?
Current COOLCON Rating: 1.x (Let us assume that there is a number of lesser value than "mocha Mocha MOCHAAAA!". Given that assumption, let "x" equal that number).
Reasons For Current Rating: Well, I've gotten married. Three times, actually, but to the same woman each time, so it's somewhat less shocking. I will be entering my final year of college very soon, and after that I will have to find a job, so any time that genie that grants occupation-related wishes wants to show up would be fine with me. Seriously, though, I'm excited to be on the brink of a most misunderstood and misappropriated life, that of a professional writer. Exactly what I'll be writing is uncertain, but I'm sure I can find something to talk about that will be of value to someone (e.g., if anyone is interested in purchasing the collected works of Gruffi the Already Copyrighted Gummibear, please let me know so I can yank it off-line and stop giving it away for free). Seriously again, though, I enjoy this place on the web I call my own, unvisited and unupdated though it may be. I hope it will continue growing.
Oh, and to all the poor souls who were spuriously drawn to my webpage by searching for "sakaba sword," I am deeply sorry. Please rest assured that I, too, find sakaba swords interesting, and that no further misdirection (no matter how accidental or financially lucrative) will occur. Thank you.
10/12/00-Current COOLCON Rating: 1.mocha Mocha MOCHAAAA!
Reasons For Current Rating: Okay, so the other day I was printing out some org charts, and as I went over to the printer to pick them up I heard a man say into his phone, "Yes, uh-huh, I can process that for you," except he didn't just say it, he rapped it. Then he listened for a bit, and said, "That's not a problem, I'll fax it right over, yeah," again rapping every word. I glanced over at the man as I walked back to my cubicle, and it turned out that he wasn't even talking on the phone; he was tilted back in his chair staring at a motivational poster hanging on the wall. As I passed by the man looked up at me and said, in the same manner as before, "Good service records are hard to come by, it's true, but we stand behind our products, 100 percent guaranteed." I believe this is inevitably what happens when you give people unlimited access to really good coffee.
1/20/00-Current COOLCON Rating: 1 5 (I had to burn all my decimal points to keep warm)
Reasons For Current Rating: Yay! My radiator works! It works real fine! But the snow is here, and as I walk across it I know that it wants to eat my shoes. Luckily, I happen to know that my shoes don't taste very good. This is supposed to be the milennium of transporters and rocketpacks! Where are they? Grump grump grump..
9/25/99-Current COOLCON Rating: Whoa nellie, nine-eighths!
Reasons For Current Rating: The wind is southerly. Plus, chapstick is plentiful, and I have a fridge to hum me to sleep at night. It hums showtunes, mostly, but on Friday nights it does the theme from Bonanza.
11/7/99-Current COOLCON Rating: 1.3
Reasons For Current Rating: The fridge is silent... for now. But ever vigilant for weakness is my mortal foe, the hot water pipe. It laughingly defies my every attempt to coax it into heating my radiator, and thus the tension in the room mounts even as the temperature falls. I predict it will not be long before we come to blows.
Scale: 5 is Completely Uncool. 1 is Ultimate Coolitude. You get the idea.
Get your own Free Home Page. How you possibly resist?