THE CONCERT HALL

Camp Heartland
at Hofstra University
May 20, 2000

    I did a stupid thing. I admit it, I did.
     Four days before the show...I lost the tickets. I really did. I still haven't found them.
     Although, you know, this isn't entirely my fault. I had just moved, and forseeing chaos I thought I had put all my valuables (i.e. my $50 concert tickets) in a safe place. Apparently I did -- a place so safe no one will ever find them. But moving on... I was duly panicked by this. Fortunately for me, Melissa Holland at LIF was nice enough to not only assure me replacement tickets but actually call me back to make sure that I hadn't leapt out of my 14th story window. She's a nice lady, that Melissa Holland. And I told her so, too.
     So...with replacement tickets waiting for me at the box office, I set out for Long Island along with Trish, our trusty photog and concert queen. We can never be early for anything. Ever. So we were still actually looking for the Adams Playhouse at...oh...say...7:15pm. The scheduled start time was 7:30pm. Not that the shows ever start on time, we know this.  But still. After deciding to follow the sage wisom of "Hey, look, there's bunch of people over THERE. Let's go that way!" we finally managed to get ourselves inside. Whew.
     I have to say, depsite averaging a concert about every other month these days, this was one of the best shows I've ever seen performance-wise. What can I say, when they're on, they're really on. Although the set hadn't changed much from the one we saw at IMAC in  March --  they still opened with the partitioned version of "I Am Your Man." But as they came out onstage one by one, I turned to Trish. "See, I told you. They look like Banana Republic models now."
     "Holy crap! Scott looks so much better in the black pants!" Trish pointed out.
     Hard to argue with truth. Me, I was never fond of them in matching outfits anyway. They looked like Boyz II Men. Now I knew they were going to change into their standard club gear after intermission, but still. No, it's ok, I'll get over it.
     But, like I said, the show itself was incredible. Even though I thought "Use Me" couldn't possibly get any better, Scott pulled out all the stops and (despite the khakis) brought the house down with an extra-funkdafied version. The majority of the songs were from the new CD, and it was my first time seeing "Doorman of My Heart" done live. There was a slightly modified arranagement that gave Kevin a few solo bits (and gave Scott the chance to...ahem...duly shock Kevin). The other usual standards were also on display, including "16 Tons" (the funniest thing, I think, about Barry's intro is that half the audience never has any clue what the Bottom Line is), "Don't Do It," and "Change In My Life." Before intermission, the guys presented Melissa Holland and the LIF with a check from Folger's for Camp Heartland. Aw, look, corporate America DOES have a heart.
     Before the second set began, they held the auction. And I do mean THEY held the auction. I suppose with Scott being from Indiana and all... Barry engaged in a totally impromptu happy dance when his heart was auctioned off for the highest amount of all the individuals. This was even despite the fact that Jeff took the liberty of adding "extra value" to his heart by kissing it and...rubbing it on his ass. Oh, yes, he did. Now, now, Jeffrey... Sadly, I was waaay too broke from moving to even think about bidding when things got as high as $200 (or even $100 for that matter). It's a shame really. But I was even surprised at how many men were staying in the game as the bids got higher. "Okay...uh, sir, well it's your money," Scott shrugged to one high-bidding man. And to an especially eager woman in the front row who was waving hundred at him, he said slyly, "Too bad I'm not wearing a g-string, you could just tuck those right in." Well, shucks, Scott, we kinda always thought you DID -- how else does he avoid pantyline?
     So thus was the auction. when all was said, done and spent, the second set began. What else can you say about numbers such as "Long Cool Woman," "Blah Blah Blah" and an amazing off-mic "Last Night"? The second half of the show gave Kevin a chance to take center stage with "Dancing In The Streets" and "Pretty Woman." After the requisite encores, they took their final bow and it was off to the reception.
    The reception, for all its wedding reception aura, was where all the interesting things happened. First and foremost we found an appropriately inconvenient place to sit: right in front of the table they had set up for the guys. We looked like spectators for their consumption of dinner. It was rather funny. I also finally broke free of my wiener status after seven years and got something autographed. Frankly I just thought it was rather cool that I even HAD a sell sheet in  the first place (ah, thank God for industry status), albeit one with...ahem...vandalism on it. But that was a conversation-starter in and of itself. After I secured all the signatures I needed, Trish grabbed my shoulder. "I want to get a picture of you and Jeff."
    "Oh, come on, why?" I'd made it this far with no pictures; I was almost weirdly proud of that. 
     "Because I am."  She waved him down. "Jeff!" She pointed to her camera and then to me.
     I was stuck. "Hey, Jeff, can I get a picture?"
     He shrugged. "Yeah. Sure."
     And thus, with a camera flash,  the long era of wienerdom ended.
     We needed to finish our film, so I took a picture with Barry as well as did Trish. We took some candids -- Jeff eating (big suprise there), Kevin talking to a whole gaggle of admirers, Scott, uh, posing. We left a little after midnight and got home around 1am. Whew. All in all, a very interesting evening. Ah, a wiener no longer....

Pics from the show
Click on any photo to enlarge it
[photos by T. Tranquillo]

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Be sure to check out the groupie pics
For more after-show activity, check out the Candids

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