CONCERT STUFF

Do Not Throw Toast
A Beginner's Guide to the
Rockapella concert experience
By Sarah

Ahhh, yes, it's that time of year again -- crocuses are blooming, Washington Square Park is awash in that attractive slush blanket, highly indulgent public displays of affection are everywhere. The joys of spring abound, and what more perfect time to revel in the biggest joy of all?

The Rockapella tour machine gets revved up this March for another year of dates. Especially since the kick-off of the 2000 tour coincides with the release of "Rockapella 2," the guys should be attracting a bigger, more rabid following than ever before. This is a prime opportunity to review what I've come to think of as valuable pointers for RVs (Rockapella Virgins). Because, like I always say, there are only two kinds of people: Rockapella fans and Rockapella fans-to-be. Moreover, a Rockapella show is truly an experience unto itself. So I thought I might share a few insights so that newbies can get the most out of what is truly an audience-driven event. Think of it like "The Rockapella Horror Picture Show," but without the toast.

THE WEBDIVA'S GUIDE TO
ROCKAPELLA LIVE

Go to the show!
(Durf)
The ticket prices are usually between $20 and $50, and it's worth every penny.
And there is just no excuse whatsoever for missing FREE concerts.


Bring a camera.
If you can take pictures during the actual performance without risking
arrest and/or attack by police dogs, go for it. If not, make sure to snap away
after the show, when you can grab hold of a hot, sweaty member of Rockapella
for an up-close-and-personal photo. Diane used this very opportunity
to pat Jeff on the butt twice "by accident."


Have an umbrella handy.
If you happen to be sitting in the very front on the Rhythm Side
(i.e the Barry/Jeff side) of the stage, you will most likely get a spit bath (for free!).
On second thought, you might also want to have a pair of goggles, just in case.


Dance.
Even if you're sitting, wiggle your booty as the need arises. However, I
don't suggest moshing. The day they cover "Freak On A Leash," I'm
leaving civilization to live in a mud hut in western Montana.


Use discretion.
For Bottom Line, NYC shows:
Pass on the chicken fingers, they're not that great.


Interact.
One of the great joys of a Rockapella show is the audience participation.
Here is the full script (as of 12/10/99) of Barry's introduction to
"Zombie Jamboree." Audience parts are in CAPS.
"This is a song about an ISLAND. Not one of those little hot islands
where you go for your winter vacation or spring break, no, no, no...no.
This song is about a big...hot/cold [depending on the season]...smelly...
broke ISLAND, where they take away your car. This ISLAND
called MANHATTAN!"


Scream coherently.
If / when Scott asks for an "instant request" from the crowd, try to get
everyone near you to scream the same thing. You know, strength in numbers.
My good friend James is also fond of waving his arms wildly as he shrieks for his
favorite selection, "I'll Hear Your Voice." Whatever works for you.


Don't be a bimbo.
For all those ladies lucky enough to be the Pretty Woman,
just a small piece of advice: dance, smile, sing along, do SOMETHING!
For the love of pete, do not just stand there and cringe like someone just stuffed
green jell-o down your pants. They don't bite, I swear. Well...I can't make
any promises about Barry, but the rest of them are relatively safe.


Have something, ANYTHING!
for the guys to sign.
I've seen people use everything from hats to purses to paper towels.
I personally wouldn't suggest offering up parts of your body for autographs,
but that's not to say I haven't seriously considered it myself at times.
"Hey, Scott sign my--"


Above all, have fun.
And if you throw any underwear onstage,
I will personally seek you out and shake your hand.

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