2002 Worldwide Short Film Festival

The eccentricities of his acquaintances pad out the story of a senior's amateur adventures in the NYC dating scene in ANGELA (Amos Kollek, 2000), though it's never a good thing when you're watching a 28-minute film and at the same time you're thinking how a better editor would've done away with a lot of that said padding. [C-]

Outside of New York there are still hidden corners in the world where the idea of seniors having sex is such a comic revelation they decided to make THE TEA PARTY (Martin Friend, 2002). These hidden corners must be stopped. [D]

THE BOY WHO SAW THE ICEBERG (Paul Driessen, 2000, 9 mins) is a split screen peek at a boy's active and contemplative lives distinguished by a sombre end. [C]

THE CONQUEST (Bertrand Lee, 2001) shimmers like a glossy ad but inside the packaging comes the dubious revelation that bars may not be the best place to go looking for love and that men aren't the only gender who may prefer one-night stands. [C-]

DOG (Suzie Templeton, 2001) must be a serious work of cinema because it has won many awards plus it has the most miserable, misshapen puppets ever. If the loads of gloom isn't enough there's a dog strangling, too - if PETA looked after sock puppets they'd be pissed. But where's the hope, Ms. Templeton, where's the hope? [C]

DOPPELGANGER (Michael Horowitz and Gareth Smith, 2001) is a low-end Twilight Zone tale with visual compositions confidently handled by a good set of directors' eyes. [C]

ELATED BY NIGHT (Simon Gross, 2001) is not much more than your run-of-the-mill Skinemax sex scene with credits stuck to both ends. [D]

This doesn't gel: imagine the disenfranchised rants of Mike Leigh's NAKED delivered by Josh Hartnett instead of David Thewlis, then add all-over screen hyperactivity that would make Baz Luhrmann proud and you've got MEMBER (David Brooks, 2001) and a headache. [C-]

There's this guy in THE QUEST FOR LENGTH (Gene Rhee, 2001) who thinks his penis is below average and he hogs the camera to tell you all about it. Will he or won't he have the penis-lengthening surgery? If he weren't so bullish and in-your-face maybe you could hear one of your neurons give a shit. The operating room scenes may cut short your barbecue season. [C-]

SALAD DAYS (Gustavo Salmerón, 2001) is silliness done with gusto as a female salad and a male trout plan their last romantic get-together. The translations don't hinder. [B-]

The painterly A SUMMER NIGHT RENDEZ-VOUS (Florence Miailhe, 2000) stays mostly true to its title - brief, colourful, flirtatious. (The title of perfect summer short still belongs to François Ozon's A SUMMER DRESS - his best film to date.) [C+]

There's just not enough happening in THE UPGRADE (Bill Robinson, 2000) to merit the good production values. Mimi Rogers is wasted while Minnie Driver tries to get by with a smile but her character doesn't earn her apotheosis. [C]

WEDDING NIGHT (Carlos Cuarón, 2000) is a one-note joke. [D]

Cuarón also directed YOU OWE ME ONE (Carlos Cuarón, 2001) which is even more sexually playful than WEDDING NIGHT and refreshingly recruits more senses in its candor. [C-]

THE YELLOW BIRD (Faye Dunaway, 2001) is most notable for the homage credit to Scorsese, Fincher and Wong Kar-wai, among others (I forget the other two) - Faye Dunaway has good taste in directors. [C+]