Tribes 2 to Ease Energy Shortage

Dynamix announced today that the imminent release of Tribes 2 will help ease the energy crisis crippling California and the Pacific Northwest. "Many of our players live in these power-stricken areas," said Dave "Qix" Georgeson, "and rolling blackouts and high energy prices don't make for the best gaming experience."

According to Dynamix, once Tribes 2 is released, thousands of copies of the original Tribes will no longer be played. The solution to the energy problem is to provide the now-unused base generators from Tribes. "They're just lying around, dormant, with all that potential that could be tapped into," said Georgeson.

"I mean, think about it," he continued. "All those maps with generators. Some maps even have multiples. All those Defend & Destroy and Find & Retrieve maps that nobody plays... it's low-hanging fruit just waiting to be picked. Everybody can benefit from the no-cost extra power."

Government officials are not as optimistic as Dynamix. "It's one thing to have all these generators available, but it's another thing to actually hook them up to the grid," said Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham. "Since they use futuristic technology and have no hookups or apparent means of tapping into their power, we're a bit stymied at this point."

"I don't know what their problem is," replied Georgeson, "It's a free source of much-needed power. And besides, they have simple texture maps and low enough polygon counts that it shouldn't matter."