Starbucks to Energize Storm, Inferno

Starbucks and Dynamix today announced that the number one online computer game and the number one purveyor of coffee beverages have joined forces to supply Storm and Inferno teams with caffeinated refreshment.

Darren Huston, senior vice president of New Ventures at Starbucks, affirmed the company's plan of taking over the world, one block and strip mall at a time, by detailing the plans for putting baristas and espresso machines in Storm and Inferno bases. "This agreement allows us to take advantage of a large and dedicated population of online gamers," he said, "innovating our beverage delivery, and expanding and enhancing the experience of our customers."

Dave Georgeson, producer of Tribes 2, said the new relationship would be positive for the player community. "Not only will defensive players have something to do while hanging around their base, but respawning offensive players will now be able to get that extra kick they need before assaulting the enemy flag. Plus, the polygon counts of the coffee bars is low, so it won't negatively impact frame rates."

While the beverage services are initially to be only in main bases, both companies are investigating the possibilities of branching out. "We're looking into placing kiosks or carts anywhere on maps where there are health patches, health kits or repair packs," said Georgeson. "Basically, anywhere players need to recharge and revitalize themselves."

A psychologist that often deals with law enforcement was skeptical. "Oh, that's a great idea," he said sarcastically. "Let's get the guys with violent tendencies and with guns, virtual or otherwise, all hopped up on caffeine."