Tribes 2 Vehicle Naming Conspiracy Revealed

Conspiracy theorists today accused Dynamix of secretly pursuing a hidden agenda in the naming of its Tribes 2 vehicles. "We shouldn't be surprised that another evil corporation is using its products for devious and nefarious purposes," said Ian Thorne, spokesperson for an unnamed conspiracy group.

Thorne's group accuses Dynamix of using the Seagal naming convention for the new Tribes 2 vehicles. "Seagal" refers to film star Steven Seagal and the titles of his action films, which follow a 3-word or 3-syllable formula, such as "Hard to Kill," "Above the Law," and "Under Siege."

"Just look at all the supposedly team-based vehicles in the game," said Thorne. "Thundersword... three syllables. Jericho, or MPB... three syllables. Beowulf... three syllables. See a pattern here?" When asked about the Wildcat grav cycle, Thorne replied, "Most people pronounce it with three syllables, as in 'why-uld-cat'."

"All except the Shrike fighter," continued Thorne. "This vehicle is for one person. The long vowel sound in the name subliminally reinforces the pro-individual, anti-team message of this craft. And it's the most popular vehicle in the game. Coincidence? I think not."

Dave Georgeson, senior producer of Tribes 2, responded to the accusations. "Actually, we just came up with names that captured the purpose or feeling of a particular vehicle. Nothing sinister in that. But what I'd like to know," he continued with a sparkle in his eye, "is how does the Havoc transport fit into their theory?"