Capping Economy Shows Signs of Slowdown

Researchers are puzzling over figures that indicate the Tribes 2 flag capturing economy, or "caponomy", is suffering from a summer slowdown, much like the financial economy. Officials are at a loss to explain why, even though players continue to purchase and register the game, swelling the population of possible cappers.

"Leading caponomic indicators show a decline in per capita flag captures," said Dr. Marvin Peltast, director of caponomic research at The Conference Board, which took over tracking the indicators from the U.S. Department of Commerce a few years ago. "If this activity continues, we could be headed for a flag capping recession."

One capper's mom, speaking on condition of anonymity, revealed that the problem isn't new. "It happens every summer," she said. "The sun, the heat, the sleeping in... the boy just gets lazy. I tell him, 'It's such a nice day, you should go outside and cap the flag.' But does he listen? No, he's too lazy to go outside, so he just lies around the base all day. Sometimes even defending the flag is too much work, and he just does generator defense."

"I wouldn't worry too much, it's mostly a summer phenomenon," explained Streit Hall Resident Advisor Marty Fisk. "Most of these guys suffer from broadband withdrawal when they go home for the summer. As soon as fall quarter starts, these rooms will be full of students all hopped up on the fat pipe again. And they'll be gunnin' for flags. Oh yeah."