Tribes 2 Environments Spawn Agony

Tribes 2 has brought more realism to team gaming, providing expansive outdoor environments with weather effects. Perhaps too much realism. Healthcare professionals are now dealing with a spate of Tribes environment-related ailments.

According to a report by the National Institutes of Health, anywhere from fifteen to twenty percent of Americans suffer from hay fever, sinusitis, and other immunoallergenic afflictions. That means up to one-in-five Tribes 2 gamers have seasonal allergies.

Dr. Ben Dover, an allergy specialist familiar with Tribes 2, explained the situation. "Think of Riverdance or Slapdash. All that outdoor space is just full of grasses and weeds, and the summer-like weather keeps them in constant bloom. Even though they're mostly texturized into the terrain to keep polygon counts low, pollen is pollen."

Server admin Banat0s confirmed the problem. "I was getting lots of requests to kick TKers. So I started observing and noticed it only happened on maps with the lush terrain. Then I started watching play. It became immediately obvious what was happening. If you've ever seen a Juggernaut armor loaded up for flag defense have a sneezing fit, you'd know what I'm talking about. Sneezing, dropping grenades, stepping on mines... unintended carnage. It probably explains why bombers fly into mountains all the time too."

"It's such a shame," said Dr. Dover. "I mean these people use this game as an escape mechanism, to get away from their daily problems and irritations. And yet they suffer the same virtual symptoms that they do in real life. There's a certain amount of cold-hearted irony at work here."