Bill Clinton Loves Tribes 2

With most people's attention focused on terrorist attacks, war in Afghanistan, anthrax, and Hillary Clinton's political exploits, Bill Clinton is out of the public spotlight. With nothing substantial to do, and a fat DSL connection in his Harlem office, he needs something to keep himself occupied. So when he's not surfing Congressional intern porn sites, you can find him fragging away in Tribes 2.

"I tried other FPS games, but T2 is the shiznit," said the famous former First Gamer. "Counterstrike is fun, but there are too many cheaters. Unreal Tournament is fun, but it's pretty similar to CS. Quake is fun, but it's like the others too. Only Tribes had that extra something that really got me addicted."

Playing under the alias "The Diddler," Clinton doesn't belong to a tribe, preferring to play pickup games on public servers. "There's something about the anonymity of pubbing that's exciting," he said. Generally, he prefers playing heavy offense. In a game we observed, he expertly used skiing routes, taking his fully loaded juggernaut armor to the enemy base. Attacking the enemy generators, he also dealt with would-be defenders. "Who wants some of this? Taste my ownage, punk!" he screamed while deftly dropping mortars, grenades and mines.

Does the former commander-in-chief ever take the reins and use the Command Circuit to issue orders? "No, pub games generally aren't organized enough for a commander," said Clinton. "Sometimes I use the CC to see the location of things, but HO can be pretty hectic, so I usually just focus on attacking the enemy base. There's nothing better than taking their gens down, then seeing a teammate run off with their flag."

What about mods, scripts and customizations? "I run the base vanilla product, and play on base servers," said Clinton. Although there is one aspect of his Tribes 2 installation that he's changed. "I have a custom skin for the enemy teams," he said. "It makes killing them a lot more fun, because they all look like Kenneth Starr."