Tribes 2 Aircraft Security Updated

Blood Eagle Airlines announces it has completed safety and security upgrades in the wake of the September 11th terrorist attacks. Hanseth D'Mar, operations officer for BeagAir, said, "We want to reassure all warriors that our aircraft are safe and prepared to transport them to the enemy base."

Air travel in Havoc transports has declined sharply in the past month. Mostly this is due to fears of flying and terrorism, said D'Mar, "but also because Shrikes are pretty popular, and hard for somebody to hijack when you're already in the pilot's seat."

In order to put passengers' minds at ease, BeagAir explained the extent of the security updates. "Well, we couldn't reinforce the cockpit doors because there aren't any on our Havoc transports," said D'Mar. "We don't need air marshals because, let's face it, everybody on a Havoc is armed already. We don't need to revamp curbside check-in because we don't carry luggage."

D'Mar explained that BeagAir's security concerns are basically a passenger awareness and education program. "What it comes down to is, you see a red triangle, you shoot it," he said. When it was pointed out that shooting red triangles is the basis of Tribes 2 anyway, he retorted, "Our mandate is to safely transport one or more friendlies to the enemy base, and we focus on that. It's up to tribal commanders to worry about the big picture."

In a show of support, President George W. Bush, playing a game of Tribes 2, took a seat on the inaugural flight to the Diamond Sword base. Scanning the horizon for targets, he said, "If I see one of them noobly alpacas, I'm gonna jam a spindiscer into his heads-up HUD. Now let's get this Havarti off the ground and kick some butt!"