Government Outlaws Shrike Tactic

In another display of bipartisan cooperation, the Bush administration and Congress have passed a bill outlawing a routine practice in the online computer game Tribes 2. After the September 11th terrorist attacks, and the recent crash of a civilian aircraft into a Tampa office building, the government continues to expand its vigilance of possible airborne threats.

The banned actions in Tribes 2 are based around a common tactic used by pilots of the Shrike fighter craft. "Typically," said a government spokesperson, "the pilot ejects from his aircraft shortly before reaching his intended target. The unmanned Shrike then slams into whatever may be around, such as a building or other people, exploding on impact. We feel this blatant disregard for life and property, along with parallels to nine-eleven, is not the type of thing we need to expose our children to. And it dishonors the memory of the WTC heroes."

Most of the flag cappers we talked to expressed anger at the new law. "That's great, let's overreact some more and start affecting our leisure activities too," said one. "I don't know how I'm supposed to grab the flag on Reversion if I can't bail from my Shrike and jet through the flag hallway," said another. "It's how everyone grabs the flag on that map."

Gaming experts were skeptical that the government would be able to monitor and enforce the new law. "Let's face it, there are lots of servers out there, not to mention LAN games," said a source on condition of anonymity. "Besides, it shouldn't be hard to spot the G-men and TK them. They're not very good gamers."