Spicey Codename: Devilishly Charming Spice A.K.A.: Keith Flint Origin: Hell. Probably Age: Beelzebub has no age, fool If he was a spice...: ...he'd be cayanne pepper Profile: Keith is best known as the lead singer for the Prodigy, but don't be fooled by that hard demeanor! Keith is a Spice Girl through and through! He loves hanging his mouth wide open, even if no sound is coming out, to show off his many piercings. When questioned about his inherent Spiceyness, our Keith likes to scream "Psycho somatic addict insane!", which is very much like "Girl Power!" Ambition: To not be famous. Never. Oh no. Favourite Music: Keith likes to kick back to the smooth grooves of Ant & Dec Ideal Man: Someone who understands his need for constant attention and love, with nice eyes Such As...: ...Jakob Dylan of the Wallflowers Spicey Quote: "ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!" Spicey Rating: 9.5 out of 10. Be very wary!
	Spicey Codename: Drinky Drunk Spice A.K.A.: Liam Gallagher Origin: Burnage Age: 24 If he was a spice...: ...he'd be barley (which isn't a spice, but live with it) Profile: Liam is widely known as the lead singer for the world's biggest rock groop, Oasis. As you may recall, Melanie Chisholm has claimed that Spice Girls are 'girl Oasis'. This statement isn't as ludicrious as you may think: young Liam may, in fact, be the youngest Spice Girl. He likes to spit lager on himself in public, throw cigarette-ash on other people, scream "Bollocks!" (which is what zigazigah means) in public and marry barsluts named Patsy. He mightn't know he is a Spice Girl, though. Ambition: To be a bigger twat than Damon Albarn (Damester is winning still) Favourite Music: Liam prefers the hard edge of the Backstreet Boys, but is sometimes caught listening to mellow Jewel Ideal Man: Someone who understands his need for constant attention and lager, with nice eyes Such As...: ...his brother Noel Spicey Quote: "I never get tired of being full of shit. I like to hear meself talk" Spicey Rating: 6 out of 10. He isn't a lost cause

Do you know of a hidden Spice Girl that the rest of us need to be warned of? Well, mail me with the details and I'll see what I can do. If you think you may be a Spice Girl, please mail A.S.A.P.: you need saving, and you need it fast!