Go figure- Fourth O' July, 50th anniversary of the Roswell Crash, Sojourner makes it to Mars & shows us pictures of rocks- all falling on the same weekend. Coincidence? I think not. WE know better.

Lest I ferget da openin' of "Men in Black." Do expect to see corporate alien infiltration throughout the movie. And the harbinger of all this: Farah Fawcett on an alien-induced drug euphoria appearing on David Lettermen's show- little does everyone know that David himself, has been assimilated and emits radio waves from within the gap between his teeth. He also likes young blonde girls ( I have on good source from a young blonde girl that dated him), but then again, who doesn't? And yes, that is *quite* a sexist/testosterone-filled comment. I just got to do something about these hormone levels of mine...

Cover-up, conspiracy, Huggies® Pull-Ups©, bottled floating florescent phlegm balls aside- it should be obvious to the pointy-eared pasties trekkie freaks to the stolid bible-thumping "we are the ONLY progeny" goobers that aliens from outer space have visited, have been here and will continue to do so.

I have no desire to extrapolate on the vastness of the universe and percent of unlikelihood that we would be the only life-forms in the galaxy or that we would be the most advanced beings (yah- think about it- extruded polymer-based snack cakes from Hostess® are not a sign of superior intelligence)- its a non-argument.

I know theses things. I been abducted and carry tiny stone shaped transmitters and receivers transplanted just under my skin on the top of my head, above my right elbow and behind my left shin since I've been a young child.
They haven't bothered to come back for me, I am assuming, from all the drugs I did in my youth. The Alien that was monitoring my actions and movement prolly had ripped off his data headphones and fell screaming into a fit apoplectic shock after the first time I mixed LSD, mushrooms and severe amounts of gin while dressed up for Halloween in 1985 as a "Para-Military Fascist Mouse-Fucking Youth Brigade for a Post-Nuclear Future" member. My outfit was replete with a gas mask, Korean War Winter issue trench coat and a fly swatter as my AK-47. That would have been enough to overload any gelatinous headed, bulgy eyed flying saucer dweller.

So stop fucking around.