It's Sunday night, Katie's birthday was last Tuesday, only from within the confusion of her party yesterday, did I get to speak with her and wish her a happy birthday.

She told me about 12 times that she loved me.

In case you are unaware, I will fill you in. Briefly. My ex-wife hates me. It began with leaving her. It has exponentially spiralled since. This is her way. her parents have no idea that they have grandchildren. At some point they must have crossed her too.

I called the house five times on Tuesday. I called once or twice every day before and every day after. Either they were there (my ex will not answer the phone if my number shows on caller ID or if the number is private, nor will she let my girls answer when they recognize the number. I assume she has told the babysitter not to answer the phone at all) or they were not. I dont know.
They were there tonight. The voicemail kicked in instantly and I left a message. I wished my ex a happy Mothers day and again wished I could talk to my children. I called back half an hour later. No one would pick up the phone. I didn't leave another message.

Samantha, my youngest was in a play two weeks ago when my mother was in town. I wasn't invited. I didn't crash, although I probably could have found out where her school was (no one will tell me); but I have SWORN to my three daughters that there will be no more fighting, a concern that each of them have expressed, especially my eldest. It was Samantha's first school play.

There's not much more to be said. I am retaining a lawyer soon. I've worked hard enough that it is finally beginning to pay off slightly. Instead of being concerned for our daughters emotional welfare and happiness, my ex has chosen to entertain her selfishness. Money that could go further to my back child support and or other better things, will be wasted on lawyers and courts. I've been in Nevada for eight months. I've only been able to arrange to see my girls four times. Twice was without my ex's knowledge or consent. I have full shared parenting rights, mind you. I moved here with only $120 in my pocket, my clothes and a four year old computer. Only to be near my children, because my life was dead without them. I sleep better at night now because I know they are less than two miles away from me. I used to not sleep.
I've beat my depression.
I am no longer bitter.
Now, I am only determined.

Happy birthday Katie. Next year, it will be different.