Sometimes, I dont....

Fuck it all
go try to explain to me
that persistence and dedication
are the answers
to a productive and happy life

They lie
all of them
Dale Carnegie lied to me
my therapist at age six lied to me
god, has lied to me
the president, lies

and I'm gone...

I'm still here
but fucking trust me
I'm gone

internally
somewhere else
somewhere hateful
but at least its honest
and clean
maybe not so clean
but cleaner than your fucking world.

I don't mean *you* specifically
I mean, you're probably a nice person
with your own fucking problems
and not particularly wanting
to hear my bitching

But it's still your fucking world
because I no longer want any part of it all
yours
or his
or hers
or theirs
no ones
not even mine

It's wholly unfair
because I cant really go anywhere
I'm stuck, here
i can leave, I have
but then I'd be stuck
there

Can you see how I am trapped?
how there are no answers?
no solutions?
no remedies?

It must somehow be different
for the rest of you
or most of the rest of you
it seems to work, somehow

It doesn't here
I am broken
a toothless cog
in a system that works best
when its grinding

silver shavings
of my soul
may float past you
in the summer breezes
and somewhere
a child will look up
and exclaim
"ooooh! Pretty!"

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page