The Worst Comedians of All Time

There's nothing better than a good comedian. Lewis Black, Jake Johansen, Dennis Miller, Paula Poundstone (before her troubles) and Gary Shandling are a few of my favorites. On the other hand, there's nothing more painful than watching a truly bad comedian. Here is my list of the worst comedians of all time:

Lots of not-very-famous (and rightfully so) female comedians. As people have noticed, there aren't a lot of female comedians. Certainly not a lot of good ones. Rita Rudner, Paula Poundstone, and Ellen Degeneris are the exceptions that prove the rule. Most women comics can only talk about 1) how horrible they've been treated by men, or 2) how much they bleed during their periods (that is, how hard it is to be a woman). And not many of them can even do that in an original way.
Margaret Cho. Not really all that bad, but another one who's got about 3 funny things to say, and she says them over and over and over and over...
Yakov Smirnoff. Hey, look at me; I have a funny accent it was hard to buy toilet paper in the Soviet Union. Was funny for exactly the first 3 minutes you heard him, then rapidly went downhill.
Yahoo Serious. Hey, look at me; I'm a goofy Australian and it's hard to find toilet paper in the outback. Fifteen minutes was too much for this asshole.
Elayne Boosler. I haven't seen her in a while, so maybe people have finally told her she sucks. The worst of the crop of female comedians that can't talk about anything but how hard it is to be a woman. I don't remember much of her stuff, just that it was extremely painful to watch.
Carrot Top. At least he's funny looking. But after you get past his silly red head and silly red face and his aping around, there really isn't anything there.
Bob Saget. The most vanilla, plain, boring person to ever grace a television set. I figure the only reason he's been on TV is because he puts you to sleep before you can change the channel, so the Ratings people think you're actually watching the schmuck.
Pauly Shore. Who the fuck lets this moronic, unfunny asshole make movies? How the fuck did he ever get on the air in the first place? He's not funny, he's got no on-screen chemistry, and he's average looking: neither handsome nor ugly enough to be interesting.
Bob Hope. Okay, he's dead. But he was never funny since I've been alive -- 40 years and counting. And I don't think he's been funny in about 70 years or so. Certainly most of the people who ever laughed at anything he ever said are as dead as him. He's been booed of the stage at the University of Florida, and at some of his overseas gigs as well.
Joan Rivers. The least funny person to ever call herself a comic. Unfunny stupid bitch that gives Jews a bad name. And if she wasn't already so horrible, she's spawned another generation of no talent performances; her stupid, talentless, ugly daughter is making a career on television based on absolutely nothing other than the fact that Joan fucking Rivers is her mother.

FYI, some of these people make a list I saw before writing this one: 10 Worst Comedians Ever. But they left off several of the worthy entries in my list, and listed several people who, in my opion, are funny (Jay Leno and Gallagher to name two).