Why are most people so gullible? Why do they seem so eager to believe, so ready to blindly accept whatever they are told?

I question most everything. I'm a paranoid cynic like that. It isn't that I think everyone is out to get me; I just like to sniff around to make sure they aren't. I remember on the MMPI, there was a question that went something like, "True or False: Most people will lie if they think they can get away with it." Well, duh.

I don't like myself a terrible lot lately. I'm always in the company of ugly thoughts. Usually, though, they reside in this tiny box in a closet somewhere up and off to the left. The nasty things they say rumble and reverb up to my conscious mind, but by the time the words reach me, it's pretty well a garbled mess of "you suck." And, usually, I have the option of closing that closet door. Not always. Not today. Several of the slimy bastards have clawed their way forth, and they're annoying the hell out of me. They demand every bit of my attention as they murmur their sickness right into my ear.

_{(Self-loathing is such a time-consuming affair.)}

A few of my more tender spots were jabbed at and poked over the last handful of days. I lack the grace and agility to move beyond what was said and done. I've forgiven, but I'm still raw. That, of course, colours my view of the world a bit blacker, a bit bleaker. I feel so stupid, worthless and untalented, that everything I see — no matter how benevolent or innocent or simple — reaffirms it.

Lies are so much easier to believe. Maybe I am gullible afterall.