Classics

The Cert

There once was a boy who had a cert
he dropped it out of the pocket of his shirt
it rolled down the road
to the park where it killed a toad
it rolled under monkey bars
and under the trucks and cars
it rolled across the state
going over the Golden Gate
now the cert is somewhere in the Pacific

Until a young boy in Africa
found the cert while swimming
he threw the candy as far as he could
as it landed in the streets in Cairo
it rolled across the country
into the Mediterranean Sea
A boy in Europe picked it up
and put it in a cup
he covered the cup with a lid
then he put it in the ocean, he did

It floated in the ocean for years I suppose
until an elderly man heard a crunch under his toes

Now legend has it
though I don't know if it's true
that many years ago
the elderly man lost a cert
out of the pocket of his shirt

-Jason

The Weirdom Wall

For many years
as you can see
a strict law remained
banning informality

It was to most
a fight no to be formal
a mission, a quest
just to be normal

You must wear a suit
but "we wanna wear jeans"
this law was right
by no means

So a vote was cast
and it was won
a legalized lunacy
the fight was done

A memorial was placed
it is a long wall
with many names on it
who participated in it all

My name is there
it has been since formality's fall
the memorial is now known as
The Weirdom Wall

-Derrick

The Tale of a Town and a City

In a small town by the sea
there was a guy who looked like me
and in this town there was a painter
but with the fumes, could be a fainter
in the small town by the sea

There was a large city in the valley
the people could count and tally
one day the city attacked the town
and fought until everyone drowned
the city in the valley

Now the people are no more
because he people in the valley thought life was a bore
legend has it the stories are true, I believe them do you?

-Jeff

My Bad Day

I had a bad last Thursday
it went sorta this way

I lost my truck, I lost my girl
my do ran away, his name was Earl
the car exploded, house went up in smoke
I got robbed by some punks, and on a doughnut I choked
I lost my job, my savings was down to nill
that's when things started to go downhill

-Mark

The Jumbo Shrimp

There once was a jumbo shrimp
and all his friends were wimps
He'd beat them up
in an sort of way
and he had no friends for the rest of the day

Then one day a piranha appeared
and all of his friends disappeared
the shrimp was left with this piranha all alone
and soon began to moan and groan

The moral of the story is:
be kind to your friends or you won't have any when you need them

-Chris