Nocturnal Sleepless

I never meant it to be this way;
nightmare life sleeping all my days.
Joyless draught of sour mead,
drunken on this gift I've received.

So you say it again and again, [preaching],
"Evil thing that can't make amends,"
but I say mercy from your torments.
I was saved once upon a time,
And I still pray, sir,
and I still pray, sir,
and I still pray, sir.

I've spent all my life on things I've never needed;
another soul searching for value by the drags she's covered in.
Pined way for a perfect love with perfect charm;
never saw the bottom of that ocean jar.

I called myself redeemed with holy trinkets, strung as pearls.
Dotted my eyes with drops of black sorrow,
broken dreams with self delusions of no tomorrow.
Brave in ways onlookers couldn't conceive,
all the while wishing for a star; a guided path by grace received.

I never asked it to be this way;
dream corrupt with only the moon to light my way,
to hear every breath paces away
to behold every drop of red in every vein...

Every day and night a task,
wanting for a childish past.
And you another fiend of nighted cloth
I am saved,
And I pray, sir,
and I pray, sir,
and I pray, sir

But there you came all mystic, cynicism and sarcasm, [the -pyre]
unholy name with a force of possession; willful demanding,
a procession of demons, I just wished for another drowning of pigs.
Infecting me with blood like wine, snakes of tendrils withering.
Another sick to take up his bed.

How asked, why do I behave this way?
Not a token of gratitude displayed.
Life immortal with ever else dead,
beloved graves to strew roses bed.

I know I wished for a nameless face of unspoken origins,
with fingers entwined in every trade and craft;
the shuttle slapping replacing the rod and comb,
the binary replacing the stone and knotted cords.

Everything taken as the very last straw.
Pray, pray, prey, prey...
Remembrance of the other creature of black,
you and him meld with the same words same stance.

 

© 1998

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Asdzani Bah & her "Pandora's Box"