Deadfall
I've taken to wearing a zipped sweatshirt this week.
It keeps some of the cold at bay,
But it's less a surrender to the weather
than a jacket would be.
It's October already, a month I've always
Come to with mixed feelings.
This month makes me take a closer look at all
I've left undone, or have just plain undone during the year.
I'm not used to how quickly years come to an end
And October reminds me of this.
It's a dead month, isn't it?
The leaves die, falling off the trees,
Colorful scattered deadfall on the ground.
I feel bad for the bare trees,
Wouldn't want to be that naked, exposed.
(another lesson on how to hide things well.)
Pumpkins, picked and hollowed,
Remains in semblance of faces,
Or are they skulls?
Candlelit the dead shine on.
Does anyone else feel closer to the dead
This time of year?
Makes me sad, those who used to be here
Aren't, and my web constricts, less complete.
At least I've stopped wondering what would
Have happened if only I loved them more.
Halloween is just the stepping stone
to other "I miss them" holidays.
Maybe the little kids in costumes are cute
But it's so perverse somehow.
When do we lose that innocent expectation,
Simple fulfillment,
and our sense that there is magic in the world?
I no longer believe I have the power,
I can't keep anyone safe by wishing.
The two I'd like to impact the most
Are oblivious to me.
These are the days that add candy, add blankets,
Subtract warmth, and just subtract.
Just wish I could keep this October cold at bay.
-Srw
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