Senior Year
Absence of thought
Absence of light
Far far into the night,
Just overwhelmed by it all.
Things just twist around themselves
In coils so tight
That I can only see
The patterns.
I can't work them out.
Full circle again,
Another time of confusion
And fretfulness
Feeling incompetent to
Actually decided the next
Course my life will go on.
Every time I think I know
What I have to know
In order to do
what I have to do,
I find another
Puzzle piece that
I'd over looked.
Fitting in the new one
Is more difficult than it seems,
Rather than an absence
I need instead to find
The ones aligned wrong.
Take this, and this, you have to do
That, and that, but not that…
So hard to get a handle on it.
Perhaps not a full circle at all
Because this one seems less
Smooth somehow.
Then I was planning for four years,
Now I'm planning for life.
If one can even plan for life.
Why does it all seem so unreal somehow?
My future seems so vague,
What makes me think I'm even
Remotely qualified to be an adult?
I envy the freshmen laughing down the hall,
They don't have to worry about grad school.
-srw
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