We're Both Getting Older

I knew him first as a secret.
A torturous two months in which I,
Being the anxious five and a half year old,
Could not tell anyone that I
was going to be a big sister.
But Christmas finally came
and mom and dad told my grammy and grampy.

In June I missed my kindergarten graduation,
Because that was the day I met him,
This new person in my life.
At first he was fairly small,
But still too heavy for my arms.
I liked to see his goofy smile
When he caught his reflection in the mirror.

But Boy I worry for your future,
We're both getting older,
And I don't think I can help you be who you've got to be.

Then he could talk, stumbling over my name.
And walk, tumbling over the furniture.
His one preoccupation became,
Or so I thought, getting me into trouble.
He was a puppy, a shadow, dogging my every footstep.

And I just wanted him to leave me alone!
But I was a teenager, what did I know?

We had our fights, it's true,
Bruises, harsh words, and not a few hurt feelings.
We just got caught up in competing,
For the better grades, the better everything,
Never once realizing we didn't have to fight each other
For our parents love. It was always there.

But Boy I worry for your future,
We're both getting older,
And I don't think I can help you be who you've got to be.

Then I went away to college
and something occurred to me,
he's a person, not just my little brother.
He's got his own personality.
And I found to my surprise
That he's often the one I miss the most.

Now I'm grown up, whatever that means,
And he's almost outgrown fifteen.
And I've got to wonder what he'll be doing
In six years, when he's the same
Age as I am now.
He's a dreamer, like I've always been,
And I just don't want him to get hurt.
It's a rough world out there, Baby.

But Boy I worry for your future,
We're both getting older,
And you can always call me when you need me.
-srw

main pagemore angst 1