November 23, 25 J.E.

Hooray for me. I actually got a GIRL to come to my very cool bachelor pad. I even cleaned the place up (I have a carpet!). So it was me, a newly single and cute chick who I suspect sort of digs me, and no one else. So what do we do?

In case you didn't notice, my count days without time lost due to getting laid has not suddenly dropped back down to 1. Nope, no action at all. We had pizza, drank Coke, and watched Armageddon (which was sort of cool, but a bit far-fetched). That was all.

Why didn't I get any? Well, I didn't try for a variety of reasons. First, she's a coworker, and that in itself may mess up my life. Second I like this chick in a friendly kind of way, although she certainly would be my type. Therefore, I fear that if I were to pursue anything, it would end up being mutually destructive.

It occured to me that my fear that I would be unable to do right by her is a residual result of my ex-girlfriend-turned-evil-backstabbing-'ho. At least that's what I thought. Hell, there I am with a nice, cute chick and all I can remember is how that evil bitch screwed me over. Ironically, I'm more concerned of doing it to someone else than it happening to me again. At least I'm sensitive. And remember, this is a very sweet, nice chick who's pretty cool. I'd never want to do that.

I'm so fucking nice I just want to puke. No one had ever better tell me that I'm not a sensitive soul. Just because I hide under layers of cynicism, bitterness, and a perverse sense of humor doesn't make it not there. You'd think chicks would dig that. Afterall, I bet that that's what they're looking for in all of those high school drop-out petty criminal druggy losers. Of course, if they do, I'll be too much of a wuss to do them.

Life sucks.



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