December 21, 25 J.E.

Let me begin by saying that my mom is an evil, bloated, scheming cow inside whose rancid womb I spent an agonizing ten months until finally bursting free into the cold world.

That said, I'll say that mothers (good ones, anyway) have an almost uncanny bond with their kids. Why, when I was a baby, whenever I woke up, my mom woke up. Even if I was just laying there, she was awake. Fortunately for her, that connection waned when I began hanging out at all hours of the night, or else she surely wouldn't have made out of her 30's (which she did, by the way, and with abundance!). Also, every once in awhile, we'd think the same thing at the same time, no matter how outlandish. One that comes to mind is how to cure my deceased dog from his compulsive tendency to piss in the house.

Yesterday another peculiar thing happened. I was supposed to get up early and go to my grandparents' house by 11:00 in the morning. I woke up and looked at my clock. It was 11:30. Obviously I wasn't going to make it on time, so I crawled to the phone like a dutiful son and called the grandparents' house. It was busy. I redialed, and it was busy again. I decided to wait, and the phone rang. It was my mom calling ME, and that's why the phone was busy. Cool. Coincidence? Possibly, but it was kinda neat anyway.

As a side note, it took me three hours to complete a 45 minute drive because I took a wildly wrong route, spun out, got wrong directions from my directionally challenged mother, and suffered a critical road being closed complete with worthless detour signs.

So I don't know what it is with moms and their kids. I suspect that the bond was probably stronger when moms spent a lot more time with their kids, including sleeping with them (platonically, sicko!). On the other hand, it was may have been weaker since a vast majority of them died before their first year. Makes my head hurt.

Thank God I'm not a chick.



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