ONLY TEN SHOPPING MONTHS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!
In other news, a couple of weekends ago I was strolling around minding my own business in a store when I happened upon a small and unassuming can marked "Pork Brains in Milk Gravy". Intrigued, I drew closer to the shelves and examined it. Sure enough, the ingredients read "Pork Brains, Milk, Water, Corn Starch, Salt, Sodium Nitrite". Now I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but anyone who knows me will tell you I can't resist a food with sodium nitrite in it. It cost about $2 for 2/3 of a cup, but nothing worth having ever comes cheap. The really COOL thing about them was that they contained 3,500 mg of cholesterol, or 1,170% of the RDA!
Interestingly, the mere act of purchasing a can of pork brains distressed my roommates beyond what would be considered normal. Merely the thought of sitting next to canned hog cranium made them squeamish. For my own part, I wanted to try something new, to expand my horizons, and to LIVE life a little. My philosophy is that I'll eat anything as long as it tastes good and isn't poisonous. Silly humans, living in their provincial little worlds.
So this Sunday I ate them. The can suggested scrambling them with some eggs (3 to be exact, which did wonders for the cholesterol level, I'm sure) so I did so. When I opened them, I was a bit taken aback by the intensity of the pink that greeted me inside the can. I bravely took a bite, and it tasted a lot like corned beef. So I mixed them in with the eggs and was happy. It didn't taste bad at all.
Coincidentally, my former boss in Pittsburgh happened to be visiting this week and witnessed the entire thing. He said that it was "absolutely the most disgusting and nauseating thing he had ever seen" and that he "couldn't get the smell or the sight out of his mind for 3 weeks". He has a way with words. It looked just like eggs with corned beef in them, for crying out loud, and smelled about the same. People are so bizarre.
I also drove across the Mississippi River for the first time in my entire life, except by accident. I've flown across it before, but never driven across it. It was an experience that can only be equalled by taking a medium sized dump.