Alas, I fear that the chick who has won the title of my Internet 'Ho has vanished from the face of the Earth. Where, oh where has my beloved Internet 'Ho gone? All the times we shared, all of the phone sex, all of the mutual sexual teasing.
Now she's gone aparantly. Her phone has been disconnected since before I left for Memphis, and I haven't received an E-mail form her forever. I fear that something horrible may have happened to her, or worse, perhaps she just lost interest in me. Sigh.
Now allow me to tell you the tale of my Internet 'Ho. Some time ago I entered a free ad in one of those lame-o Internet personals thing as a lark. I was stunningly clever as usual, and she felt compelled to respond to it, even though she was just there to kill time. She e-mailed me, I e-mailed back with my typical brilliant reparte, and she was instantly enthralled. Soon after she called me and it was cool.
Over all, she kind of reminded me of a cross between my schizo-ex and my ex-girlfriend-turned-evil-backstabbing-'ho, and therefore was not liekly to be someone I could ever really hook up with, but she was EASY! She said that she had done 25+ guys in her past and, quite frankly, the thought of doing a chick again after a two year hiatus did intrigue me just a little bit. Besides, she was definitely interested in witnessing the glory of my tremendous weiner.
On top of that, she was a State College native, but was going to a different school nereby while I was going to Penn State. Such a connection, it seemed like fate that I would eventually get some hot monkey love. Once she called me and we talked for 10(!!) hours! We were talking for literally the WHOLE night, and it was good. Damn she was cool.
Then when I moved to Pittsburgh, she moved back to State College. Just missed her. Dammit. Since then, she got a job and I've been speaking to her less and less.
She had always assured me that she would come visit me a give me a little lovin', but now that I'm in Memphis and she appears to have vanished, I guess it's unlikely that I'll ever get any ever again.
O Internet 'Ho, if you're reading this, will you give me an E-mail or something??