Let be known that on this date, my life has hit a new nadir.
I, Jason the Great, bearer of the Legendary Albino Pennsylvania Pants Python and an MBA, am the newest friggin' member of the Dunkin Donuts team. AAAAUUUUGH!!
It's not that I have anything against Dunkin Donuts. It's a nice enough business and they make good donuts, but in the name of Pan Anderson's dear departed boobs! I don't want to be there! I spent $20,000 to get a friggin' MBA, something with an average starting income of $65,000, and here I am, SELLING DONUTS! The people are nice and all, and I need the cash, but for GOD'S SAKE! I'M SELLING DONUTS!
But that's not the worst of it! Today, on my first day, in fact, in my first couple of hours, who should walk in but an old high school nemesis. As if things weren't bad enough already! Yes, the asshole came in and saw me. God isn't so cruel as to actually have me wait on him (that no doubt will come later), but he saw me and I saw him, and there's a fair chance he recognized me. Now he wasn't the brightest bulb in the batch by a long shot, but he probably did. I bet he's out feeling on smug because he saw ME working in Dunkin fuckin' Donuts!
I know, because that's how I'd be feeling if I saw him there.
What did I do to deserve this life? Was I Hitler in a past incarnation? Was I Stalin? Was I BOTH somehow? Only then would I deserve this misery.
Maybe I'll get cancer and die.