Why do I even bother?

I mean, hell, why should I even get out of bed in the morning?

It seems that nothing is ever nearly as good as I imagine it. Things are always too small, too bland, too smelly, or too yellow to match what I was expecting. It may be that the borders of my imagination lie far beyond the meager confines of reality. Or maybe I'm just a sucker for promotion.

I can apply that to just about everything. Most often, it applies to porn. I mean, gosh, I put "hot animal sex" in the search engine, and get some matches promising the steamiest, most stimulating animal sex I've ever seen! I click in and see that it's just people screwing, or worse, people screwing animals. Who wants to see that crap? Where are the wholesome sites that feature squids romancing each other, ostriches doing the nasty, or beetles getting Biblical? My ultimate goal, of course, is to see tarantuals knockin' pedipalps, but that's REALLY hard ro find.

So I just saw the series finale of Temptation Island. I'll it say again: WHY do I bother?

Just like the profoundly disappointing, "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" Fox promises us an unequaled sleezefest. They have promised us pure slime, guaranteed to offend almost everyone. Instead, they deliver us some cheap-o slime substitute, with slime as the 7th ingredient after SUCK. Granted, that idiotic Billy/Mandy combo gave us some diluted drama, but it was hardly enough to pull my eyes off of that slowly peeling shard of paint on my ceiling.

And why the HELL did all the chicks love that goddamned Billy so much?? He looked like a psycho who was on the verge of snapping at any moment! One chick said he had "soulful eyes." If you asked me, he had psycho eyes. Well, Mandy was a freak-o, too, so I guess they're good for each other. Maybe if I shaved my head...

I still watched it, of course, but only because of the freakin' commercials and promotions! The people in charge of putting those together sure earned their damn money. God knows they didn't have much to work with. They made it LOOK so cool I couldn't wait to tune in, even though I KNEW they were lying to me based on my disappointment the previous week. Why do I bother?

SO last week on Survivor's previews they made it look like a serious accident happened to one of the contestants. Heck, they strongly implied that there was a crocodile attack. I'm not THAT gullible. I've learned enough from my sad experience with television to date that I know it might be something like a stubbed toe or something lame like a loved one getting hit by a bus back in the states. I suspect that even my most pessimistic expectations. I'll watch it, though, since I have money riding on it.

The tarantula porn isn't for me. It's for my tarantulas!