On an isolated island. Jasonnicus, Scribe, First Mate, Sailor 1, Sailor 3, and Sailor 4 enter

Jasonnicus: Yes, this deserted, uncharted island will do nicely. Sailor 3 and 4, go forth and forage for provisions. We will need more fresh water and perhaps a couple of pigs for the final leg of our quest. And cheese, if you can find it.

Sailor 3: Yes, sir!

Sailor 4: Yeah, whatever.

Sailor 3 and Sailor 4 leave.

Scribe: Noble Jasonnicus, I am concerned. The only island near here is the dreaded island of Bobbit.

First Mate: Surely, Jasonnicus, you would not have us go there. We are your loyal followers, and we would risk our penises at the hands of those evil women for the quest, but we'd really rather not.

Jasonnicus: Let me see the map, Scribe. I wish to see thy quill, as well. Ah, I see what the problem is. This island is not labeled "Bobbit," but Bob's Island, with the Island abbreviated. Let me just fix that with the quill. Here you are.

First Mate: Thou art wise indeed, Jasonnicus!

Scribe: Yes...wise...

Sailor 1: Perhaps Bob's Island has been decreed a manly island instead of that nasty Isle of Bobbit, that has nothing but women!

First Mate: We can only hope, Sailor 1. We can only hope.

Sailor 3 and Sailor 4 enter.

Sailor 3: Jasonnicus! Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: What?

Sailor 3: A mighty monster with a single eye is pursuing us! He seeks to eat us!

Jasonnicus: What did you do to stoke the fires of his ire?

Sailor 3: Nothing! We swear!

Jasonnicus: Stand behind me, crew! I shall face this awful beast!

First Mate: Nay, Jasonnicus! Allow me to be the first to face the beast! If I should fall, thou wilt have the chance to see its weaknesses!

Jasonnicus: That's not a bad idea...

Cyclops enters.

Cyclops: Who dares step on my island and steal the virginity of my sheep?

Sailor 4: Well it was just a quickie...

Jasonnicus: 'Tis I, Jasonnicus the heroic! If thou dost defeat my First Mate and three Sailors and the Scribe, you must face ME in battle!

Scribe: Hey!

Cyclops: Jasonnicus the Heroic? I would much rather welcome the as a friend and fellow bearer of a tremendous schlong than fight thee as an enemy! We are brothers, save that we have different parents. Indeed, we must surely both have divine blood to have weiners so mighty!

First Mate: Oooo, it IS big! Not as big as yours, though, Jasonnicus.

Jasonnicus: I am always honored to meet a fellow Titan, even if we only have one titanic part in common. Why were you chasing my men?

Cyclops: It is my common practice to kill and eat intruders, especially those who rape my sheep.

Jasonnicus: Happens a lot, eh?

Cyclops: You wouldn't believe.

Jasonnicus: Perhaps we can barter. Wouldst thou be willing to exchange provisions for some of my more deadweight sailors?

Cyclops: That sounds like an excellent idea.

Jasonnicus: Sailor 1, feed Sailor 4 to the Cyclops.

Cyclops eats Sailor 4.

Cyclops: It's been a long time since I tasted Greek.

Jasonnicus: I've got more where that came from. Sailors 7 and 12 are also a waste of ballast.

Cyclops: Excellent. I believe we can make a deal. Wouldst thou be willing to part with your First Mate most fair, not for food, but for compansionship? It gets very lonely out here.

First Mate: That would be swell!

Sailor 1: First Mate! You are my special companion!

First Mate: I never said we were being exclusive, Sailor 1.

Jasonnicus: Nay, First Mate. After we complete our quest to Bobbi-- Bob's Island, then you may cavort with the Cyclops on our way back.

First Mate: Joy! Let us be off on our quest, so that we may return!

Jasonnicus: And that, Scribe, is how you motivate your crew.