On an isolated island. Jasonnicus, Scribe, First Mate, and Bunchovnauts enter

Jasonnicus: At last, my loyal followers! Our noble quest is at an end! Soon the Golden Sheepskin will be in my hands and I shall be free of Zeus's evil curse!

Bunchovnauts: Hurrah!

First Mate: Indeed, it is good to be nearing the end of the quest, but this has been the most fun we've ever had. Pray, is there not another quest we can embark upon immediately after this one?

Jasonnicus: Nay, First Mate, I will not be accompanying you. I'm sure there are other heroes in need of a crew as faithful and skillful as you!

First Mate: But once you have the Sheepskin, would it not be wrong of you to deny all the women of the Mediterranean your mighty seed?

Jasonnicus: Hmmm... What will you be getting from such a quest?

First Mate: The chance for the crew to continue to quest together, in close quarters, sharing beds, with plenty of oil...that is all we need.

Jasonnicus: Very well! After I have the Sheepskin, we shall quest for the rest of our days to spread my mighty schlong among all of the women of the world!

Bunchovnauts: Hurrah!

Scribe: Noble Jasonnicus, I do not mean to be a wet toga, but we have yet to defeat the enemy guarding the Golden Sheepskin, the Lord of the Crimson Band!

Jasonnicus: Yeah, whatever. I have faced things far more fearsome than that, whatever it is. Lead us to the cave of the sheepskin, Scribe!

First Mate: Pray tell, mighty Jasonnicus. Why did we not land near the city on the other end of the island, where perhaps the kind inhabitants of Bob's Island would lend us a guide and perhaps some provisions?

Jasonnicus: Uh, well...because I heard that the people of Bob's Island are not that nice. (Aside) I cannot let the crew know that we have landed on the island Bobbit, which is populated by vicious Amazons! If their queen, Lorena, know of our landing, she will try to capture us and slice of our weiners!

Scribe: Behold, Jasonnicus, we have arrived. Yonder cave is where we may find the Golden Sheepskin and its guardian.

Jasonnicus: Follow me, men! We are about to meet with destiny!

Scribe: Behold! The figure in at yonder desk must be the Lord of the Crimson Band!

Bureaucrat enters.

Jasonnicus: I fear ye not, Lord of the Crimson Band! Step aside so that I may take the Golden Sheepskin!

Bureaucrat: Please, call me Mister Finkerton. You're here for the Golden Sheepskin, eh? That won't be a problem.

Jasonnicus: Really?

Bureaucrat: Of course not. We have a procedure for this. It's really quite simple.

Jasonnicus: Well this is anticlimactic.

Bureaucrat: All you need to do is fill out forms 109-B, F-128, and the 7987-EZ in triplicate and return them to me.

Jasonnicus: Huh? Then what?

Bureaucrat: Then it will be sent to the approval committee. We should hear back from them in three to six weeks. If they turn down your request, then you have 6 months to appeal.

Jasonnicus: Scribe, canst thou make sense of these forms?

Scribe: Verily, these are very complicated.

Jasonnicus: All this to lift a lousy curse!

Bureaucrat: You're under a curse, you say? Well, we must interview that person as well. You'll need to fill out Schedule D and we'll summon that cursing party to an interview. He, she, or it will have 3 months to respond, and six months after the response date to set an interview appointment. Then we can submit your request to the approval committee.

Jasonnicus: What are we supposed to do until then?

Bureaucrat:  We have a lovely waiting room just outside. Now, once the approval committee has rejected--er, reviewed your request, they'll want the opportunity to interview the cursing party themselves, so that can take another 6 months. Appeals processes will, of course, also include the cursing party. Now, should this span over the next fiscal year, you'll need to fill out continuance forms G, Q, and--

Jasonnicus: Enough! This is how we deal with crimson bands where I come from! Hold still, so that I may cleave thee in two!

Bureaucrat: This is highly irregular!

Jasonnicus: Come back here, you cowardly dog!

Bureaucrat: I'm going to lodge an official complaint!

Bureaucrat leaves.

Jasonnicus: Well, that was easy. Shall we enter and complete our quest?

Bunchovnauts: Hurrah!