In the cave of the Golden Sheepskin. Jasonnicus, Scribe, First Mate, Sailor 18, and Bunchovnauts enter.

Jasonnicus: Behold, my loyal and most trusted men! Inside that dark cavern is the end of our quest! Once I can free myself of Zeus's foul curse, I shall be able to score with impunity with all the hot chicks of the Mediterranean!

Bunchovnauts: Hooray!

Jasonnicus: Scribe and First Mate, you must accompany me into this cavern. The rest of you, stay here and warn us should, say, a bunch of enraged Amazons come charging toward us, intent on slicing off our weiners!

Bunchovnauts: Why would that happen, noble Jasonnicus?

Jasonnicus: You can never be too careful. Come, Scribe and First Mate!

First Mate: It sure is dark in here. Scribe, are you certain that we will face no more vile creatures?

Scribe: Well, no one has ever made it past the Lord of the Crimson Band, since all of their requests were trapped in committee until they either gave up or were captured by the Amazo--hostile natives. Nevertheless, I am sure that without a steady diet of intrepid adventures to fill its stomach, any final guardian would surely have starved.

Jasonnicus: It matters not to me! If there be some tremendous beast lurking in yonder shadows, then I would welcome death rather than turn away now, when my goal is so close! I would much rather suffer in Hades than live another day without scoring! Were I guaranteed to live a long and happy, yet sexless life if I turned back now, I would refuse! I have face death hundreds of times over, and I shall not fail to--

Scribe: There it is! It's beautiful!

Jasonnicus: It's more than I ever could have hoped!

First Mate: It's a giant sheepskin condom!

Jasonnicus: Well, what did you expect, First Mate? We didn't come in quest of the Golden Latex! Look yonder, there are strange runes! What do they say, Scribe?

Scribe: It says here that only a man of most divine penis may touch the Golden Sheepskin. Any other shell be stricken with impotence, flattulence, lice, Herpes--

Jasonnicus: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait to give this sucker a test drive. Oh the good fortune that will befall the first reasonably hot chick I lay eyes upon! And what pity I feel for her, knowing that the rest of her days she will never feel such ecstasy again, lest I come by that area another day.

First Mate: Behold, Jasonnicus has grasped the sheepskin, and with no ill effects! Surely, his is a most divine penis!

Zeus enters.

Scribe: Gasp! 'Tis the mighty Zeus!

Zeus: Curse you, Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: Get some new material, ya prick!

Zeus: I swear on my own testicles that you shall never score so long as you live!

Jasonnicus: Listen, oh most high and exalted dickhead, we had a bargain! Behold! I am the bearer of the Golden Sheepskin! Although it will probably be a tight fit, it will no doubt prove a perfect sheath for my mighty Sword of Love!

Zeus:  I hate you, Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: Oh no, Zeus hates me! What shall I do? I guess I'll just have to drown my sorrows in piles of women!

Zeus: I have brothers, Jasonnicus. Even if it may mean doing unsavory things for them, I will ensure that you will never score:

Jasonnicus: You are such a jerk, Zeus.

Zeus: You're a jerk.

Jasonnicus: You're a jerk.

Zeus: Enough! I will not be drawn into another war of wits with you! This is not over!

Zeus exits.

Jasonnicus: What a sore loser.

Sailor 18 enters.

Sailor 18: Mighty Jasonnicus! Something terrible is transpiring!

Jasonnicus: What is it Sailor...uh...

First Mate: 18.

Jasonnicus: What is it, Sailor 18?

Sailor 18: An army of enraged Amazons is charging toward us! They have cut off our retreat to the boats! They are led by the queen Lorena, and seek to cut off our schlongs!

First Mate: Curse that Lorena! It is not enough for her to own the Island of Bobbit, but she must also own Bob's Island!

Jasonnicus: Uh, yes... Rally the men! We must do battle!

First Mate:  To the death, Jasonnicus!