On the battlefield. Jasonnicus, Scribe, First Mate, Sailor 1, Sailor 3, Bunchovnauts, and Amazons enter.

Scribe: 'Tis a dark day! The mighty forces Jasonnicus the Heroic fought bravely but were defeated by a bunch of girls.

Jasonnicus: Do you have to write EVERYTHING down?

First Mate: At least, my lord, we still have our lives!

Jasonnicus: What a plus. I can see the hate burning in the eyes of those Amazons. They will no doubt seek to slice off our schlongs.

First Mate: 'Tis not your fault, Jasonnicus! We were sorely outnumbered!

Sailor 1: Indeed, Lord Jasonnicus! Were it not for your choice to swallow your pride and allow us to surrender, we would surely all be dead by now.

Jasonnicus: It was the greatest sacrifice I have ever made. I would have much preferred that we all perish in battle before surrender, but I decided that as long as we live, there is yet a chance for us to escape and return to fight another day.

First Mate: Most wise, Jasonnicus! Your wisdom is as great as your fighting skills.

Jasonnicus: Let us hope that our captivity is not worse than death itself.

First Mate: If we shall die, it will be with our quest completed. Pray tell, Jasonnicus, where is the Golden Sheepskin?

Jasonnicus: 'Tis fastened securely to my mighty schlong. Behold, I have tied an extra knot in my breeches to ensure that I do not lose it. Of course, I don't know what good it will do me if I have no weiner.

Sailor 1: At least, First Mate, we will perhaps have the opportunity to enact our prison fantasies in a genuine dungeon, not just the storeroom of the ship.

First Mate: Fortunately, I remembered to bring my fuzzy shackles!

Jasonnicus: Oh, brother.

Amazons: Behold! Our queen, the Mighty and Fearful Lorena approaches to address the prisoners!

Sailor 3: Curse those Amazons! If it were not enough that they own Bobbit Island, but they must also take Bob's Island!

Jasonnicus: Yes...about that,,,

Lorena enters.

First Mate: Whoa, she's hot!

Jasonnicus: Hey, I thought that you didn't like chicks because you are Greek!

First Mate: I cannot explain it, Jasonnicus! I am bewitched!

Bunchovnauts: Us too!

Amazons: Silence, curs!

Bunchovnauts:  Sorry.

Lorena: You vile males have landed unbidden onto our island of Bobbit!

First Mate: Boy, is SHE dumb!

Lorena: Normally, we would slice off your schlongs and decorate our huts with them, but you had fought bravely in the face of certain death. Therefore, we shall release all of you...except the one called Jasonnicus. We heard that he was your leader. He must remain behind with us.

First Mate: Jasonnicus! This cannot be!

Jasonnicus: Silence, kind crew. I knew this day would come eventually. I am prepared to accept my fate, for either I surrender myself, or we all lose our manhood. There is only one solution that will give my conscience peace. I ask only that you spread my legend far and wide, so that chicks may lament never having screwed me.

Scribe: It will be done, most noble Jasonnicus.

Jasonnicus: I shall now stand and announce myself. Be well, my noble crew!

Lorena: For it is our judgement that Jasonnicus and his tremendous schlong must score with each of us continually for the rest of his life.

First Mate: I'm Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: What!?

Sailor 1: No, I'm Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: You mother fu--

Sailor 3: I'm Jasonnicus!

Bunchovnauts:  We're Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: Sit the Hell down!

Scribe: I'm Jasonnicus!

Jasonnicus: Et tu, Scribe?

Lorena: Since none of you will admit to being Jasonnicus the Heroic, you must all leave this island immediately! Spread word that if Jasonnicus thinks his legendary schlong is enough to satisfy the fires in our loins, then he should come to us and take our challenge! Amazons! Take them away!

Jasonnicus: But I really AM Jasonnicus! If it were not for the stubborn knot in the drawstring of my breeches, I would prove it!

Amazons: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to an Amazon who cares!

Amazons, Jasonnicus, Scribe, First Mate, Sailor 1, Sailor 3, and Bunchovnauts exit.

Lorena: 'Tis a sad day for us. I believed that at last we would know the joy of Jasonnicus. Oh well. Perhaps someday fortune will smile upon us, so long as the Golden Sheepskin is here to draw him to us.