Sometimes people can be so dumb, it makes me want to drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, so I can see the world through their eyes. Say, that sounds like a good way to kill the afternoon...

Anyway, I know that I'm no supergenius, but I'm relatively smart. Nevertheless, I can be stupid sometimes, too. I'm can be just as dumb as the average moron out there running naked and free in the world. Still, there's something to be said for keeping your stupidity from the watching eyes of the world. If you wanna be stupid, do it behind locked doors. Yes, stupidity is completely natural, and everybody does stupid things, but it's something you should be ashamed of and you should hide it. If you must, read Victorian porn. That's pretty stupid.

What really annoys me is the people who are stupid, but they pretend to be smart. Somehow, they manage to blunder into a position in which they're some kind of public authority on a given subject. Thus placed, they can disseminate their stupidity over a wider area and poison many minds with their misinformation.

Let's look at some examples, shall we?

When I was a young, happy teenager (that was a joke--laugh), I was watching the news. They were covering some hack magicians attempt to do the old bury-yourself-in-the-coffin-and-hop-out-perfectly-fine trick. They mentioned that that was the trick that killed Houdini. I was a TEENAGER a knew what a bunch of TV execs didn't know: Houdini died from a ruptured intestine delivered by someone punching him in the gut. I can't be too critical, I guess. They were only journalists, after all.

There were two more screw-ups on the news in that same period that I, a teenager, spotted. God only knows what else they were getting wrong. People wonder why I don't bother watching the news. I figure I can make something up out of the blue and it would be about as close to the day's news as what the journalists tell us...

More recently, I stumbled on to some kind of health-oriented site. "Why does eating sugar make you feel thirsty?" a person (presumably of the child variety) asked. The august mentor responded that glucose slows down fluid absorption. I'll give you a second to see the flaws in that response.

Although I can't say for sure if glucose actually goes slow fluid absorption (I hear conflicting reports and don't really care anyway), she doesn't even BEGIN to answer the kid's question. Any brain-dead dolt can tell you that the reason eating sugar makes you feel thirsty is because the sugar absorbs water, thereby desiccating your mouth. Things like plums are FULL of sugar, and yet they don't make you feel thirsty. That broad was answering the wrong question.

Incidentally, people don't eat much glucose. We eat sucrose, fructose, maltose, and stuff like that. Those sugars get turned into glucose.  Hmmm...I wonder what glucose tastes like?

The greatest outrage by somebody who should know better happened just this week. It was on a news service, predictably. Some knucklehead was explaining why the Sahara desert is where it is. He said it was because the high pressure on the Equator prevents rain from falling. I'm pretty good with geography, and that didn't sit well with me. I decided to use ol' Rand McNally as a tie breaker. I saw that, unless every cartographer on Earth is out of his/her mind, the Equator doesn't run anywhere NEAR the Sahara! In fact, every place the Equator touches is rainforest! The Amazon! The Congo Basin! Indonesia!

My God! Any brain-dead dolt with the reasoning of a 3 year-old can look at a map! That was such a blatant abuse of stupidity, it just boggles the mind! Now there are millions of clods out there going, "Duh, the Sahara is caused by high pressure on the Equator which causes rain not to fall. Duh!"

Then I keep hearing that idiotic thing about all of people's cells being replaced in 7 years, which a holdover from the Alchemy days, when people drank mercury to improve youth and vigor.

What scares me is the number of times I personally have been deceived! Believe it or not, I'm not an expert on EVERYTHING, but I always try to pick up interesting facts. How many facts in my head are dirty lies, born from the rancid womb of a vapid mind? What if I help spread that disease? I'm a tool to the conspiracy of stupidity.

BTW: Bats aren't blind, either. That comes up a lot. 

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