I've decided the pomegranates are the most selfish of all fruits. They're not as evil as peaches, or as fiendishly clever as the lime, or as wussy as the banana. Nevertheless, they are the most selfish, least considerate of all fruits.

Why, you ask? What's the big deal about the pomegranate, also known as the Chinese apple?

Well frankly, I would have expected a little better from a country that brought us General Tso's Chicken.

So why does the pomegranate suck? The answer is easy. It all comes down to the fruit-to-inedible crap ratio. Pomegranates have the worst ratio that I know of. I had the pleasure of trying to eat a pomegranate today, and I got to say, it was quite a struggle. Not only is each of the MILLIONS of individual seeds wrapped in the tiniest bit of moderately tasty fruit, and not only are they wrapped in a tough rind, but the whole inside is bisected by a tough, bitter tissue. Worse yet, when you break it apart, seeds go flying everywhere!

Let's compare the pomegranate to other fruits, shall we? Bananas, strawberries, and raspberries certainly have thier share of seeds, but they're so little you don't even notice them. Bananas even have a skin that's the easiest to remove. Of course, you have to eat them 15 minutes after you get them home or they go bad, but hey, no fruit is perfect.

Then you have pears and cherries and apples and such, which have easy-to-spit-out seeds. They also have tons of fruit for relatively little seed. An apple the size of a pomegranate has, like, 8 seeds or something instead of the 8 billion in the average pomegranate. Even big-pitted fruits like plums and nectarines have only one big seed to worry about.

Even other rind-covered fruits like oranges are cooler. They have small seeds, and many don't have seeds at all. Lemons and limes are rather sadistic in the fact that they smell so good and taste so sour, but at least they're not hairy.

So, in summation, pomegranates are evil and should only be eaten by insane people. After all, they condemned Persephone to hell for 3-6 months a year (depending on the myth) for eating a couple of pomegranate seeds. My only question is how she found such a small amount of food satisfying. Why would someone stop at 6 pomegranate seeds? Most normal people would have to be in hell for about 100 months a year to be not quite starving.

Stupid pomegranates.