February 13, 28 J.E.

My great and loyal friend television has again opened my eyes to new vistas of human silliness. I was watching this show (which I will not name because I'm ashamed to be a viewer), and one of the topics they talked about was the pro-anorexia movement burgeoning on the Web. Actually, I don't know if it's a movement per se, but rather the flocking of like-minded nutcases to feed their collective insanity, but I'll get to that later.

So naturally the first thing I do when I get to work is look for pro-anorexia (or pro-ana, as they say in the biz) sites. It was actually a lot harder than I thought. I had to wade through a sea of articles about the phenomenon and anti-pro-ana sites before I actually found one that hadn't been killed by its host. I would have had an easier time finding a neo-Nazi web site that advocating burning kittens. I did finally find a couple, though. I had no idea chicks could be so screwed in the head.

I just don't know WHERE to begin. Obviously, weight is their big issue. According to what I've read, they suffer a morbid fear of being fat, preferring to die first. That's THEIR words. A Cosmo article focused on women who would rather "be dead than fat" who were "proud to be anorexic (sic)". Many of the sites I've seen offer ideas for the young anoretic to obtain that Ethiopian chic look. At first glance, their "tips" seem almost sensible. Take a gander at the general gist of the several web sites I've seen:

Step 1: Practice portion control

Well that seems sensible. Eating a whole cow for every meal is a one-way ticket to Chubsville.

Step 2: Exercise regularly

Well, DUH!

Step 3: Eat a well-balanced diet

I've been saying that for YEARS! Surprisingly, I haven't seen any vegan anoretics. I suppose they're out there, but they probably die pretty quick.

Step 4: Drink plenty of water

Beats dying of dehydration.

Step 5: Network with other pro-anas through chat, email, messenger or club sites -- get some support and motivation from your sisters/brothers when you NEED it!

Wait a minute...

Step 6: Put together a pro-ana scrapbook (or add some new things if you already have one) with lists of safe foods, low-cal, low-fat, low-carb recipes, word collages, and of course, TRIGGER PICS!!!

Well that seems like a strange thing to tell somebody.

Step 7: Sit back and listen to your friend Ana

Ana? Who the hell is Ana?

Step 8: Engage in the ritual summoning of Anamadim

What??

Yep, it's true. From a distance, the stuff seems like normal weight loss stuff. The problem is that these chicks' goal is to look like the starving kids on Sally Struthers commercials, except not as funny. Why do people have to take perfectly good ideas and twist them into some perverse extremity? Some of them blame the fashion industry, vilifying it and Hollywood as promoting unhealthily thin chicks, but then they go and embrace it whole-heartedly! For the record, those super skinny models make me want to puke...and then eat something.

One of the chicks was going off about how because anoretics have the self-control to not eat, they have the self-control to rule the world. That struck me as a little funny. It may be true, but the people who currently rule the world also have a lot of self-control, and they devoted it to the backstabbing, politicking, or, God forbid, honest hard work they needed to get to the top. They didn't focus all of their energy of not eating. Must be that twisted Ana logic.

Of course, they don't think they have a problem. They call it a lifestyle choice, like schizophrenia. Some have some idea that it's wrong or dangerous or bad for them, and yet they continue. Some think normal people have the problem. None seem to have a good grasp on the root cause of the problem, nor is there generally much speculation. It's kind of a religion that way.

Well, whatever. I can't even begin to fathom what makes chicks decide to personify a mental illness such as anorexia and it's even weirder friend, Bulimia (often referred to as "Mia"). I've read all of the theories and such, and the general consensus is that nobody else really gets it, either. It's just as bizarre to me as those compulsive eaters who get all super huge. Come to think of it, it's as alien to me as ANY irrational compulsion, whether it's cleanliness, serial killing, or whatever.

The only compulsion I have is my dear friend Master Bates. I guess the moral of this story is that compulsion sucks, and I'll never understand it. That, and Ana's a dirty whore.

Looking at all those pro-ana sites sure makes me hungry.

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