Ont he beach of the Isle of the Straight Men. Chief of the Straight Men and Straight Man #1 enter.

Chief of the Straight Men: Ah, Straight Man #1, how long has it been since we were stranded here, one by one, for daring to defy the Greek way by preferring women?

Straight Man #1: Too long, mighty chieftain. The sun has risen and set too many times for me to remember. By the wrinkles on my skin and the length of my beard, it has been many a year.

Chief of the Straight Men: And in all those years, we have seen nary a ship's mast on the horizon.

Straight Man #1: Nay, except for the occasional straight man tossed onto this beach by rough seas of Poseidon, we have seen no trace of the world outside. It has been a quiet existence, and almost pleasurable once I resigned myself to my fate.

Chief of the Straight Men: And then Jasonnicus arrived.

Straight Man #1: One year and one hundred eighty-four days ago.

Chief of the Straight Men: Yes. His incessant attempts to escape have disrupted our daily lives of gathering food, chopping wood, and brewing beer.

Straight Man #1: Aye, he has drunk all of our beer!

Chief of the Straight Men: His fanciful fantasies of leaving these shores He has been the worst addition to our group since--

Straight Men enter.

Straight Men: Noble Chieftain!

Chief of the Straight Men: What is it, oh faithful Straight Men?

Straight Men: Noble Jasonnicus has created wings for himself, collected from gulls and put together with wax! He is flying!

Chief of the Straight Men: Impossible!

Straight Men: Nay, look yonder! He soars majestically overhead! He is nearly as high as the sun!

Chief of the Straight Men: How did he assemble them so quickly?

Straight Men: Well, we, uh, helped him.

Chief of the Straight Men: Wonderful. Shall his buffoonery never end?

Straight Man #1: Oh, look. The sun is melting the wings. They are falling apart. What a tragedy.

Straight Men: Oh no! He is plunging into the ocean! Surely he's drown!

Chief of the Straight Men: What a shame. Let's get back to work.

Straight Men: Behold! Poseidon's waters are thrusting him back toward shore!

Jasonnicus enters.

Jasonnicus: Curse those Gods! First Zeus sends me here, then Apollo melts my wings, and Poseidon throws me back! Can they all be so jealous of my mighty schlong?

Chief of the Straight Men: Jasonnicus! Enough of this madness!

Jasonnicus: Never! It shall never be enough until I am free of this accursed island and I have spread my seed across the entire Mediterranean! Come Straight Men! I have another plan!

Jasonnicus leaves.

Straight Men: Hurrah!

Straight Men leave.

Chief of the Straight Men: This is going to be a long eternity.

Chief of the Straight Men and Straight Man #1 leave.