Very rarely does any one witness a miracle. Sure you get the crazies claiming that they talk to God or that they are God. None of them ever have any proof of course. All we have to go on is their twisted logic and disjointed ramblings. Such people can be easily dismissed as wackos.

In fact, I must confess that up until now I've dismissed ALL of those people as nuttier than&ldots;well&ldots;a bag of nuts. It's hard to say which nut is nuttier than the others, but the Catholics always struck me as a particularly nutty brand of nut (not as much and the Hindus, though). While claiming to be monotheist, they've elevated saints to pseudo-godhood, praying to them for good weather, protection of insects, or whatever. They even have patron saints of the Internet, for Christ's sake. The "Virgin" Mary is almost venerated more than Jesus himself. (I don't care what they say; if you give anal, you're not a virgin, no matter how wise those three men claim to be.)

But I've changed my mind! Being a born skeptic, I require EVIDENCE to believe in any of this bullshittery. Evidence being a detail that seems to trip up very few people, it is vital for me. Any being, supreme or otherwise, has to EARN my worship. For all of their claims of the miraculous, you'd thing someone would have the presence of mind to bring a camera along.

Well someone finally did. I finally see the proof I need. I now know that there IS a Virgin Mary, and that she does appear to us mortal schleps. Behold these shocking photographs of Mary with the fence:

It's amazing, isn't it? I mean, she's right there! I didn't think Mary would be wearing low-rise bell-bottom jeans, but I guess she has to keep up with the times, right? She's stylish AND has the ear of God. What could be better?

Wait a minute. The article I'm reading says she is IN the fence, not BY the fence. They say that you can see her in the fence in the blurry image to the left. God, if you're up there, can you tell me why people are so shockingly stupid? Mary in a fence? Come ON! It doesn't even look like Mary. It looks like a big white penis.

Yet people are buying it. Catholics from around the world are flocking to Australia to see this magical fence. Of course this wouldn't be the first time people have seen the Blessed Virgin Mary (Or Jesus or Elvis or whomever) in some mundane object. Doors, potato chips, paint, all of them have been venerated as signs from God because they bore some vaguely human-like features.

I'll close now with some other photographs of "Mary" I collected form the Web. People are truly insane. 

Oh, Mary, you washed up crack whore. What would Jesus do?