I'm hearing a lot of talk about dieting these days. Maybe it's because the Atkins craze had got more people vocal about their diets. Maybe the fact that so many people are big bloated cows has got more people dieting. Maybe people just like to hear themselves talk.

One thing that I hear a lot that strikes me as particularly absurd, though, is people saying "I'm not allowed to eat that." Allowed? Says who? Did the diet guru you're following personally tell you that if you ate that giving object, you would suffer terrible consequences? By eating that thing, are you committing a felony?

I don't get the "I'm not allowed" crap. It sounds to me like they're trying to externalize responsibility for their choices. When someone "allows" you to do something or withholds that permission, you're basically surrendering all of your free will to them. When you're two and that person is a parent, that's reasonable. When you belong to a religion (or cult) and you're living by your deity-of-choice's laws lest you be cast into Hell, that's less reasonable, but understandable. When you give someone that authority with whom the limit of your contact was a $30 book purchase, that's nuts!

Why don't people say something like, "I choose not to eat that because it is not in line with the eating strategy I am currently practicing in a likely futile effort to control my weight." That would be most accurate, if a little long winded. Something much simpler like, "That's not in my diet" would be fine. But no. They say, "I'm not allowed!" like some giant diet ogre is standing over them with a club poised to strike them in the head.

Now with those religious nuts, that is the case, metaphysically speaking. If Catholics eat meat on Friday during lent, they will be smitten by an angry God! If Jews eat cheeseburgers, they will be unclean! If a Muslim eats a pork chop, something bad would probably happen, although I'm not sure what. Of course, those are just the mainstream religions. I'm not even going to go into the raging lunacy of fringe groups, PETA freaks, or raw foodists.

What's so terrible about admitting that it's your CHOICE to not eat an entire chocolate cake between breakfast and brunch? Why does some external force have to dictate that you're not allowed?

The implications support a hypothesis I've always had about people. In spite of all of the talk about how people are freedom-loving, that they want freedom, will fight for freedom, etc., a sizeable portion of our citizenry, if not most people, do NOT want freedom. They would gleefully give away their freedom, get a kick in the crotch in return, and ask for more. They'd rather follow somebody else's set of rules than figure out how to run their own damn live. Super examples are Religions and Political Parties. "Pray to this god!" says the priest. "Yes, master," say his retarded adherents. "Vote for me!" says the candidate. "Yes, master," say his brain-dead slaves.

I'd bitch some more, but all this talk about food has made me friggin' hungry. I'll turn on the TV and wait for a commercial to tell me what I should eat.